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Rahul Gandhi is going to win Congress President Post, Unopposed

Nitesh Kumar Harne
by Nitesh Kumar Harne
7 December 2017
in Satire
0
Rahul Congress President

(AP Photo/ Rajesh Kumar Singh)

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Rahul Gandhi became a part of active politics in 2004 but he always considered this country as well as his Party his personal fiefdom, as a direct result of which he never took politics seriously. A Safe Parliament Seat ensured that he never had to toil hard to win an election hence he never took his victories seriously either. When Manmohan Singh’s government was at the center, Rahul should have should have taken up a ministerial berth to acquaint himself with the day to day functioning of the country, but he was lost in his own world. When the Indian Electorate handed over the country’s reins in Manmohan Singh’s hands again, Congressmen unequivocally credited the victory to the young and spirited leadership of Rahul Gandhi, while Rahul Gandhi at that time did not know even the basics of politics (which he still does not know). But, this was the time when Rahul was force-launched into active politics and he started the process of the annihilation of the Congress.

How Congress Party lost four states under the able and spirited leadership of Rahul Gandhi in 2012

In 2012, under Rahul Gandhi’s leadership, the Congress contested elections in the politically crucial state of Uttar Pradesh. Rahul became a media darling because of his high-pitched yells, out of the world innuendos and frequent dining adventures in Dalit households.  Congress party managed just 28 seats though. In Punjab Congress was being considered as a natural contender for victory, but Rahul surprised everyone with his miracle and handed the state back to Akali-BJP on a golden platter. Rahul’s miracle showed its magic in Goa also. Digambar Kamat led Congress Government was routed. At the end of 2012, in Gujarat, the Congress under Rahul Gandhi was flattened again, despite anti-incumbency Narendra Modi managed to form the government for the third time.

By 2012, ‘Dimple Boy’ Rahul Gandhi had achieved a status of being a colossal failure. But Party sensed some potential in him and hence Rahul Gandhi was made the vice-president. Congress party firmly believed that by the virtue of promotion, Rahul Gandhi will become Modi overnight.

In 2013, as the newly anointed vice-president, Rahul Gandhi hit the campaign trail back with renewed vigour and lost Tripura, Nagaland, Delhi, Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh and Chhattisgarh one after the other. Good Fortune finally sniffed Rahul’s forehead when Congress won the state of Karnataka, but Political Pundits ascribed the victory to the infighting in BJP and the infamous Yeddyurappa episode.

Rahul has led Congress to 22 election Defeats till date, hence deserves some serious promotion

By making Rahul Gandhi an unannounced Prime Ministerial candidate in 2014, Congress lost everything it had, yes yet again under Rahul Gandhi’s able and spirited leadership. In the 2014 Lok Sabha elections, no one expected Congress to bounce back to power, but the party that once won 404 Lok Sabha Seats was reduced to just 44 seats. While rest of the Congress was heartbroken, but Rahul was not done yet. In 2014, Rahul’s leadership showed its magic in Haryana, Maharashtra, Jharkhand and Jammu and Kashmir. Rahul Gandhi kept racing and stopped Modi’s Juggernaut by playing the bottleboy in a team dominated by Nitish and Lalu’s men. Congress nevertheless called it the coming of age of Rahul Gandhi and added a dozen more adjectives to his leadership style. His able and spirited leadership was also dynamic and innovative now. Dynamic and innovative it was as Congress scored a perfect zero in Delhi Elections.

Rahul’s exceptional track record was now visible in four directions, as Congress was absent in all of them. Rahul Gandhi was now like a monk with no attachments, he did not want a single state where his government was in power. In 2016, Rahul also lost an important state like Assam too. In Kerala, his coalition government lost, In West Bengal, Congress drowned in Hooghly, and dragged the Left along with it. All because of Rahul Gandhi’s able, spirited (dynamic and innovative) leadership.

In the beginning of 2017, Rahul Gandhi in and as UP Ka Ladka, took charge in Uttar Pradesh won the Party a mind numbing 7 seats in the 403-seat assembly. Congress showing a big heart, allowed BJP to form a government in Goa, Uttarakhand and Manipur. It was because of Rahul Gandhi’s charisma that the party did not have enough MPs to form the main opposition party in the Lok Sabha.

But here’s a catch and big one. Those who believe that Rahul Gandhi can not win any election, are in for a surprise. This week is a bad week for them. Rahul contested an election in which he was simply unbeatable. There was a clear Rahul Gandhi tsunami, and for the first time the wily duo of Modi-Amit Shah could do nothing to beat him.

Yes! Rahul Gandhi has won the election of the Congress Party Presidentship. He defeated nobody and polled 100% of the votes. (There were no formal announcements yet but there is no need for this formality)

Such was the extent of Rahul Gandhi’s victory that even BJP leaders were seen celebrating, most of whom consider Rahul the star campaigner of BJP. BJP Workers believe that they can now win with even bigger margins and with minimal efforts.

Rahul Gandhi is probably the only person in the world who has constantly been promoted even after all the fiasco. We at tfipost.com wish him all the best! May his able and spirited (and dynamic and innovative) leadership continue forever.

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Nitesh Kumar Harne

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