Aadarsh Liberal Times – 3rd Edition

13th October 2015                                                                                                                                                                       Late City Edition

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A Ban on Navratri

By Nainsukh Sehgal

It is that time of the year again when superstituous, illiterate Hindus in the country celebrate the festival of Navratri. Like many other Hindu festivals, this is a festival of hooliganism. Shrill Hindu music will be played out, and talentless singers who’ve long been ditched by melody will spread their cacophony. Drunk boys and girls will roam around late in the night, creating nuisance and causing inconvenience to everyone. Since the present government is extremely Ban friendly, I demand that it focus its energies here and ban this ridiculous display of religiosity. Here are my top 5 reasons why Navratri should be banned:

1. Loud music
There is a pandal just next to my house. Every Navratra night they pump out bhajans and other religious mish mash at the highest decibels starting 9 PM. How is a person supposed to relax and sleep in his own house with all this noise?

2. Drunkenness
Young boys and girls make use of this festival to break free from the shackles of control which Hindu society otherwise places on them. Everywhere on the streets, you see drunk boys and girls roaming around or zooming around in their bikes, making the streets extremely unsafe for the pedestrians and other drivers.

3. Dandiya Sticks
Dandiya Sticks should specifically be outlawed as they are a big health hazard. Every year, I hear of gory tales of natives having lost their vision as some ruffian poked them in the eye with the stick. There have also been increased cases of burglary during this period, with burglars using Dandiya sticks as a weapon.

4. Economic burden
Everyone knows that India is a poor country. Our impoverished masses can ill afford two square meals a day. However, due to social pressures, they are forced to buy new clothes, offer sweets to the deities and buy membership to Dandiya nights. All this puts an additional burden on their pockets. The government also has to shell out billions of dollars to ensure safety of pandals. All this money could have been put to better use (in increasing the Haj Subsidy may be?)

5. Secularism
India is a secular country. Such open display of Hindu religious fervour reflects very poorly on us. It is these open displays of religiosity that scare the minorities and drive a wedge between communities. I would rather have the Hindus give up this ostentatious display of religious fervor as a token of respect for the non-Hindu citizens of this country.

Let us trend #BanNavratri to force this fascist government from acting on our petition.

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A Lahore Odyssey

By Bakaruddin Shah

A few weeks ago I had gone to Lahore to participate in a public event. As an Indian, I was apprehensive about what the other side of the border would turn out to be. No doubt that this perception in my mind had been driven by the Indian media that has sought to portray Pakistan as a terrorist country. All my apprehension were set aside as I landed on the airport. Pakistan was lush and green and filled with happy, satisfied and confident people. Everywhere I looked, I saw smiles. I thought to myself, If there is paradise on earth, it is here, it is here.

Pakistani men were confident and sure of claiming the glory that God had destined for them. Most of them I saw, were carrying rifles or Kalashnikovs. I asked my driver Ahmed, why this was the case. Ahmed replied that all Pakistani men carry a gun to protect the tourists who visit Pakistan. It is to assure the tourists that as long as the Pakistani men are around, they have nothing to fear. Some distance away, I saw a group of men assaulting a woman. I was shocked to the core. Why would civilized Pakistani men do this to a woman. Once again, I turned to Ahmed. He told me that the woman had refused to allow her husband to marry again. The man was only reclaiming his rights by educating the woman in the traditional Pakistani way. Ahmed’s response satisfied me. That harridan had no right to refuse her husband what was his constitutional right.

As we moved on, I saw scores of women moving around, all covered in a Burqa. This was better than the obnoxious dresses that women in India have taken to wearing lately. Pakistani women looked like God’s angels, appropriately covered and safeguarding their dignity with pride. Pakistani women will surely make the nation proud.

On one of the chowks, I saw a severed head that had been propped up on a stick. It was unsightly and revolting. I looked askance at Ahmed. Calmly, Ahmed responded. This was a Hindu man who had tried to claim the money that a Pakistani man owed him and that too with interest. I was shocked to hear that. It seems that some people never change their habits. What business did that illegal immigrant from India have to claim money from an innocent Pakistani man. Serves him right, I thought.

The rest of my visit was uneventful. I have come back with fond memories of my stay at Lahore. I shall now double my energies to ensure Aman between India and Pakistan

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Reader’s column:
A temple near my house sounds the temple bells every day at 4 AM. This is followed by loud chanting of mantras. Personally, I consider this an affront to our country’s secularism. I would like you to highlight tales of Indians who are terrorized by Temples in such a way.