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Kejriwal, a Real Aam Aadmi and Old Monk – Part 1

SKanth Polly by SKanth Polly
10 July 2016
in Satire
Kejriwal
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It was a chilly night. I needed some rum. I went to a bar and ordered Old Monk. The waiter said Old Monk wasn’t available. I went to another bar hoping to get old Monk. But alas! Same result. No Old Monk. I tried two more bars and the answer was same. No old Monk. I didn’t know what to do. I was feeling cold. I didn’t want to have any other drink. I was frustrated. What an intolerant country we are living in. There isn’t freedom of drinking Old Monk.

So I went for Conjuring 2, 10.00PM hoping that the ghost would scare me. It did scare the hell out of me. I stayed alone and I was scared of turning off the light that night. I logged on to face book and that was the biggest mistake I made. I saw a post “Man dead in the theatre after seeing Conjuring 2”. I didn’t want to open the story .But as they say curiosity kills the cat. I clicked on the comments section. I have never witnessed such horror in my life. The first comment was a picture comment similar to the Conjuring 2’s evil nun but this was scarier .This had the picture of Arvind Kejriwal dressed as the nun and titled as ‘Conjuring 3’. I had enough of internet for that day. I tried hard so forget the horror I just saw and went to sleep.

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Now that I got your interest the real story begins now.

I was awakened by a noise of glasses clanking. There was the smell of Old monk in the air. I was standing right outside a bar. Was it a dream? I didn’t know. I walked inside and t waiter greeted me. The bar was empty. I sat in a corner and was waiting patiently for the waiter to get me the menu. Out of nowhere there was a screeching noise. I looked outside the window. There was a red Ferrari that stopped right outside the bar. Must be a spoilt Delhi brat I thought. The door opened and the eerie nun I saw in the movie stepped out. What the hell was going on? I saw the number plate. It was written AK-49. What kind of an idiot is this guy or girl?

The waiter came and asked for my order.

“A 60ml Old monk and chilly chicken” I replied.

I was busy peeking into my phone when a familiar voice called me. I was looking at the nun right in front of me

“Excuse me this is my seat” he replied. I assumed it was a he as he sounded so.

“I am sorry sir, there are 67 other seats in this bar, please go sit elsewhere” I replied.

“But I want this seat” said the adamant man.

Just as we were arguing, a waiter came and said “Sir please move elsewhere this seat belongs to Kejriwal sir”.

“Thanks Rajdeep” replied Kejriwal.

“No I won’t move, call the other waiter, I sat here first” I replied.

“Arnab left sir, this is my bar now” Rajdeep replied.

Damn you, I just wanted a drink. Why am I fighting with a guy dressed as a nun? I moved aside and sat in another table. Kejriwal seemed very happy.

A few minutes later.

“Excuse me this is my seat” Arvind said to me.

“Yeah right, now you will say whole Delhi belongs to you” I said

“Yeah this entire state belongs to be” he replied.

“You moron Delhi is not a state, it’s a union territory” I said.

“I will soon pass a referendum for Delhi statehood” he replied.

“What are you? A moron or Kejriwal? What next referendum for Delhi as a country” I replied.

“Yes you are correct” the man removed his nun’s hood. There was a guy wearing muffler. I was shocked it was indeed Kejriwal.

“Wow you are Kejriwal” I replied.

“Yes I am” he answered.

“What is this dress Mr. Kejriwal?” I asked.

“I am just returning from Arundhati Roy’s Halloween party” he replied.

“Wow sir, you really look genuine in this outfit, I didn’t know you were party types” I answered.

“I didn’t go for the party, I went in this costume for so that some pseudo intellectuals would vote for me” he replied.

I was pleasantly surprised. He called Arundathi Roy and her friends as pseudo intellectuals.

“What did Arundhati Roy dress up as sir” I asked him.

“She dressed up as her usual self. She doesn’t need any Halloween costume. She looks like a witch anyway” he replied.

We had a hearty laugh. I was liking Mr. Kejriwal.

“So what’s your name and what do you do” he asked me. I couldn’t believe this .Kejriwal asking my name.

“I am Srikanth and I am from IIT Kharagpur sir and I really hope you won’t ask for my degree now, I don’t have it with me currently“I said. It was spur of the moment. God damn me. I would have hurt Mr. Kejriwal’s feelings.

But to my surprise he started laughing like a hyena.

“That was a nice one, you too are from IIT Kharagpur come join me, we shall drink” he said.

I joined him on his table. We tapped our glasses and said cheers. I didn’t know what he was drinking I didn’t bother asking him.

“Sir why the Ferrari” I asked him.

“Yeah even I wanted to go in my wagon-R but posing like a Delhi brat at night is the safest” he replied

To be continued…

Tags: Arvind Kejriwal
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