Overseeing falling Law & Order situation in Bihar and in the event of many common members among the cabinet ministers and extortionists, local government launched this portal ‘HandSomeRansom.com’ which aims to smoothen the extortion process and strengthen the extortion industry
This plans to facilitate ransom business, and aims to connect everyone irrespective of their willingness, quintessential of the way it is for customers of the industry it will target. Bhaukali Chaurasiya reports:
Today, with much fanfare, CM Sushasan Babu launched ‘HandSomeRansom.com’, which will also be available on android platform. While it aims to revolutionize the way service delivery of the kidnapping and extortion industry works, it remains a formidable task for the government to oversee its effective implementation.
How this application will revolutionize the extortion industry
While match-making between Clients (Aasami) and Kidnapper/Protector is the most important feature of this application, it provides enhanced benefits to users at both ends. On one hand client has a better power to negotiate because all possible protectors are listed on this app, it removes information asymmetry as seen from Client’s perspective. He can go through profiles of Protectors any time and judge which one is offering best services at cheapest cost. On the other hand, prospective protectors can pin their biggest kidnappings achievements on their display page and claim higher protection money. Banna Lal Gupta, a bullion trader in Mokama was excited, ’Earlier I used to pay six digit figure yearly to Prakash Singh giving in to his threat of kidnapping if I didn’t, though he just had six kidnappings to his claim’. ‘When I came to know Binod Singh had not just done eleven kidnappings and two and half murders, he also had two recommendations from current Cabinet Ministers elaborating how great it was to work with him; I changed to him. Though I have to pay a higher cost after switching allegiance, I know I am in safe hands for his proximity to said ministers.’ ‘Further, one can get cash backs up to 20percent on ransom money which is a plus’, he added.
Prakash Singh was unavailable for comment, but Binod Singh spared a few minutes, elated with his new found glory. He said that this app will improve information latency. He believed his efficiency would increase, now that he could track his client real time as it is GPS enabled. ‘Thanks to this government, I will instantly know if any rival tries to harass my Aasami trying to malign my image. I understand I have to provide best possible services to my client if I want to have best ratings’.
How it all started?
The idea of having a central marketplace for extortion industry and ransom business was a brainchild of two young guns, both hailing from families in kidnapping business for generations- Rohit Shastry and Mukesh Agarwal. They faced initial hiccups in raising money because of uniqueness of their business model. They raised initially a lakh rupee from family and friends, but series A funding, of undisclosed amount came easy. ‘It took us just three days to kidnap and extort convince our angel investor. Talks happened in Hotel Maurya, and everything was finalised in short span of time’. ‘Of course we had blessings of Deputy CM who happens to be our mentor since childhood, but there was no illegal benefits bestowed on us by government’. ‘Do you see him?’ he said pointing towards a scared Ophthalmologist ‘he turned recalcitrant, did not pay on time. I am going to give him one star now’, grinned Mukesh as he chewed tobacco and instructed his minion to push this newly abducted doctor in a dungeon like room. Unconfirmed reports told us they are planning series B funding, referring to an engineer’s new found prosperity in Samastipur. They are also contemplating to start a scheme where a prospective client can refer someone else and get points for it.
Discontent in Extortion industry veterans
Industry veteran Shahabuddin was not impressed. He sulked when this correspondent mentioned the app. ‘We have carried out everything without such technology creeping into our lives. Our minions did the entire task for us better than any technology can ever do. I can never forget my old timers – Guddu, Bhakua, Gidua, Chinti, Shakaal, who made my small business look like and expand into an empire’ he said with moist eyes, moisture due to smoke from the hand grenade he just tested by blasting. He believes investors will pull out money and this app is doomed to fail. ‘Not everyone can do business’ he concluded.
Whether this new found technology survives or not, one thing is certain; that kidnapping and extortion activities have caught the eyes of industry and businesses and is the next big thing on economic roadmap after the new government formation. Now it is up to the government to make sure it does not fail by providing tax sops and additional benefits to this startup. If this fails, Bihar will go a step forward backward.
