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Aadarsh Liberal Times- Jumma Special

Frustmanoos by Frustmanoos
30 October 2015
in Satire
Aadarsh Liberal Times – 3rd Edition
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ADARSH LIBERAL TIMES

Special Friday edition                                                                                                                30th Oct 2015


 

Why Geeta’s return is a part of Hindutva agenda

By Bakra Dhat

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Geeta-New face of Hindu terror

All this week, TV channels have been screaming out loud about the return of an “Indian” girl, Geeta from Pakistan. News channels, in connivance with the government have tried to portray Geeta’s return as a triumph against odds. Be that as it may, the question we need to ask ourselves as a nation and a secular society is, would we have celebrated the repatriation of a Pakistani Muslim in the same way? What if the person who had asked for Indian help in coming to India not been a Hindu, what then? It is this thought that scares me. I feel that after 7 decades of secularism, we are still as attached to the idea of a Hindu India as always. When will we, as a society learn that Hinduism is not a part of India’s identity, secularism is!

Anyways, There are two main theories running around this episode-

1. The sinister hand of Modi

This theory states that there was no such girl called Geeta who had strayed into Pakistan and got left behind there. It is believed to be a creation of a sick Hindu mind. People believe that Modi had created Geeta’s case to bolster his dwindling popularity ratings. There are many evidences to prove this. How is it that the government of India bent itself backwards to get a so called Hindu girl back to India, without knowing where she is from or who her parents are? The girl cannot sepak/hear, which is actually believed to be a ruse to withhold facts from the public. Did the Indian government never suspect that she could be an ordinary Pakistani Muslim girl who would have come up with a story to get to India, where she would have better opportunities. It is plausible to believe that this entire Hindu Geeta story was concocted by Modi to give him an impetus in the Bihar polls that he seems to be losing.

2. A deeper Sanghi agenda

The second theory states that Geeta was actually a trained Hindu Child soldier who was sent across the border by Sanghi terrorists to unleash terror in Pakistan. Readers are aware of the destabilizing impact that Sanghi forces have had on Pakistan. Countless Sanghis have been incriminated in terrorist acts in Pakistan. It is believed that Geeta, once she reached Pakistan, lost her nerve and could not carry out the terror attacks, at which point she concocted the entire story of having accidentally strayed into Pakistan. She bided her time for years, till one day, a government who would be sympathetic to the cause of Hindu terrorists would win power in India. That happened in 2014, when the Rioter-in-Chief Modi became India’s PM, in polls, widely criticized as being rigged. Since that day, government of India has left no stone unturned to get Geeta to India.

Clearly, these are difficult times for Secular Indians. The repatriation of Geeta- the Hindu terrorist or the Hindutva activist is a dangerous trend. It will open floodgates of unwanted Hindus returning to India from jails and prisons the world over. That will wreak havoc on the delicate religious balance in the country. One of these days, I shall clean out my cupboard and return something totally worthless as a sign of protest. Until then, I shall continue to rattle this Hindutvawadi government with my writings!


 Why Hinduism must be curtailed

By Dhoka De

Red saaree, Red Bindi, Gold- Yuck!

Of all the religions of the world, none is so anachronistic and patriarchal as Hinduism. I choose to make this point especially today, as I see women of all shapes and sizes, decked the reddest of saares, with the biggest of Bindis adorning their foreheads, wearing kilos of Gold on them, setting out to the nearest park to pray for the long life of their husbands. That too, after they’ve tortured themselves the whole day, having refused food and water. All this for what? The long life of their husband. That husband, who sits on the Sofa, while the wife toils in the kitchen, preparing Lauki or whatever he likes to eat. That husband, who every morning yells, “Newspaper kahan hai”. That husband, who needs to be given everything from the Rumaal to socks, while he dresses up for office. That husband, whose parents torture the wife, day in and day out, with their incessant nagging and fault finding. I forget, why does the bloody Indian husband need a long life again?

Bloody Indian Husband

The bloody Indian husband needs a long life because that is what this religion has taught us women. Be obedient, listen to your husband, be servile, do what your husband wishes, never offend the mother in law and a whole lot of other blah. In any other religion, a woman is independent, with her own mind and soul. But here, the mind is deliberately dulled and the soul deliberately stamped over, so as to reduce the woman to become a mere attendant. She has no life, no goals and no ambition.

Coming back to the point, why should we women worship the husband? Or rather, why even follow this archaic religion? It is time, we independent women move on.


 From the editor

Our readers are aware of the challenges that a Secular weekly like ours faces from the Hindutva government. Modi tried to curb our voice by asking the milkman to not deliver milk at our office. In absence of milk, we were unable to have tea or coffee at work, making it impossible for our staff to work. The Hindutva government thought they could muzzle us. But we will show them. This Friday’s edition is our boldest yet. It is our attempt to show this undemocratic government that we will not be silenced. Take away our milk, water, subway or pizza, we shall persist!

 

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