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40 Mark Twain Funny Quotes: Mark Twain’s Wit Unleashed

TFI Desk by TFI Desk
5 October 2023
in TFIUvaach
Mark Twain Quotes
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Step into the humorous world of Mark Twain as we dive into a collection of his most amusing and thought-provoking quotes that continue to tickle our funny bones.

40 Mark Twain Funny Quotes and Words

  1. “The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
  2. “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
  3. “I never let my studies get in the way of my education.”
  4. “Age is a matter of mind over matter. If you don’t have a mind, it doesn’t matter.”
  5. “The best way to get rid of a temptation is to give in to it.”
  6. “Smoking kills, and if you have been killed, you have lost a very important part of your life.”
  7. “It is better to remain silent and appear a fool than to speak and leave no doubt about it.”
  8. “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.”

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Sanskrit Quote T shirtMark Twain’s Hilarious Words 

  1. “Never wrestle with a pig. You will only get dirty, and the pig will like it.”
  2. “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes.”
  3. “If you don’t read the newspapers, you’re misinformed. If you read them, you’re misinformed.”
  4. “The lies, the damned lies, and the statistics.” – Mark Twain funny quotes
  5. “Why not go on a trip? Life is short and the world is big.”
  6. “Habit is habit, and is not to be despised.”
  7. “Marriage is a great institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”
  8. “Modesty is a quality I don’t have.”

Mark Twain’s Hilarious Words

  1. “Heaven is reserved for saints and sinners; both groups are extremely boring.”
  2. “The work is finding out what you love, then finding someone to pay you to do it.”
  3. “Whiskey is the best brandy in the world…except water.”
  4. “Never borrow money from a friend. It could damage the friendship.”
  5. “Silence is the perfect speech.” – Mark Twain funny quotes
  6. “A man who does not carry his own burden should not be allowed to carry the burden of others.”
  7. “Anything excessive is insignificant.”
  8. “The coward is the man who doesn’t know when to stop fighting.”

Mark Twain Funny Quotes and Words

  1. “Humor is the great thing, the ultimate flavor of awakening. Try to laugh at the most serious thing in the world, death.”
  2. “There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he cannot afford it, and when he can.”
  3. “Reality often surpasses fiction. But lies always exceed reality.” – Mark Twain funny quotes
  4. “The best way to get rid of an unwanted government is to ignore it.”
  5. “Politeness and deference are the two most pernicious ways of making fun of someone.”
  6. “Most people are more concerned about what others think of them than what they think of themselves.”
  7. “Fate is what happens when you have something else planned.”
  8. “Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

Mark Twain Funny Quotes and Words

  1. “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”
  2. “The truth is the most precious thing a person can possess. It should be shrouded in liars.”
  3. “If you find a job you love, you will never have to work a day in your life.”
  4. “Dogs are better than men because they know but say nothing.”
  5. “Never take advice from a millionaire. Judge them by their results instead.”
  6. “Rumours of my wisdom are greatly exaggerated.” – Mark Twain funny quotes
  7. “Age is a matter of feeling, and we keep the feeling of youth as long as we want.”
  8. “The last person on Earth you should upset is yourself.”

Also Read: 50 Shadow Quotes and Captions: Exploring the Enigmatic

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