Yesterday was a great day for Coffee lovers. Or those who pretend to be coffee lovers? Or those who would consume anything that comes from a global outlet. Or the Freebie hunters. Or those who’d actively scan classified sections in newspapers and nosedive into anything that comes free/cheap. Starbucks did a great service to humankind by launching its hundredth outlet in Kamala Mills, Mumbai and as a part of their celebrations, they rolled out an exclusive and unmissable offer wherein they gave away all short/tall beverages at just Rs. 100 all across India on 28th October 2017.
(Coffee loving) Indians were enlivened. They had another chance to indulge in the mesmerizing aroma of Caffeine without drilling a hole in their pocket. It was Demonetization all over again. There was only one difference, while in case of Demonetization many people stood in serpentine queues grumbling and cursing the government, in case of Starbucks Coffee hunt, almost every “coffee lover” stood patiently, quietly checking in on Facebook and Instagramming all this while. Starbucks is a costly affair. So winning a cup of this costly affair only at Rs. 100 (GST included) came with some conditions. One of which was wasting time but that’s okay because we measure cost strictly in terms of monetary parameters. Time loss is no loss.
Take a Look at a Starbucks queue here:
#Starbucks100 #CrazyPeople #CP #India
Stroke of genius by @StarbucksIndia pic.twitter.com/CLwDOQK9Bg
— Kunal Aggarwal (@Kunalbosconian) October 28, 2017
Here are the 20 things that I deduced by observing Coffee Lovers in the serpentine queues outside Starbucks Outlets:
1). We will queue up for anything free/cheap
2). Onset of Winters is time for queues in India
3). We like things cheap
4). We like branded things cheap
5). We like everything cheap
6). Free Data Plus Cheap coffee is equal to a lot of Social Media Garbage
7). We don’t mind wasting time in waiting for branded things on sale
8). We don’t mind wasting time in waiting for cheap branded things
9). We don’t mind wasting time at all
10). The fact that Metro Dwellers don’t have time is a myth
11). We aren’t coffee, scotch, wine or beer lovers but can pretend to be connoisseurs (provided the stuff comes cheap)
12). Starbucks had no idea that we are a nation of 1.2 Billion Coffee lovers (Even we had no idea)
13). Those who think a Cup of Coffee at Rs. 100 is Cheap, clearly have got their economics wrong
14). We can stand in line for hours if a branded outlet offers cheap coffee, standing for 52 seconds when our National Anthem plays is too much
15). Like Good and Bad terrorism Queues are good and bad too, for instance the Demonetization queue was a bad queue, Starbucks queue was a good queue
16). There were no cases of stampede or fainting reported, as Narendra Modi had nothing to do with it
17). Pro Choice warriors had a field day yesterday, Demonetization and Anthem are Compulsions, Starbucks was a choice
18). Modi wave is fading because people queued for Coffee and not Chai thereby sending a strong message to #ChaiWallahPM
19). 98.3% of Starbucks lovers will never return to Starbucks ever. This is based on undisclosed scientific data
20). Kejriwal must have been the happiest man yesterday. Wait for his new set of freebie Announcements
