9 Humiliating Yoga Poses, no Self-Respecting Human Being Should Perform

International Yoga Day is a reality now. Every Year India leads the world in performing the various Aasanas that originated from our ancient Yogic traditions. These Aasanas don’t just enhance our physical health but also our attitude towards life. While Yoga looks like a harmless physical drill, secularists, communists and other ists who have been on a continuous decline since 2014 and have a double masters in getting offended, have been known to get offended by Yoga Poses too.

Nitish Kumar ji, The chief Minister of Bihar, publicly boycotted  Yoga Day Celebrations in Bihar last year. Last year, Kerala witness CPIM’s brand of Yoga, without “Aum” (Om) chanting and ‘suryanamaskar’ was held in the presence of then Kerala CM and party supremo Pinarayi Vijayan.

As we observed people getting offended by Yoga and Yoga poses with each passing day, we did some research in finding the Yoga poses which can offend people. And while we were researching about Yoga Poses, we noticed that Yoga is not just Anti Minority but also Anti MSM, Anti AAP, Anti Feminists, Anti Human Rights, Anti Kashmir and anti a lot of things.

Here is tfipost.com’s comprehensive list of Offending Yoga Poses:

1. Tri Pada Adho Mukha Svanasana

Media should completely oppose this Yoga pose. Notice how in this pose, while three limbs remain grounded, the fourth limb is lifted up (thereby denoting the fourth pillar of democracy) and further dragged away from the body. This basically denotes that Media is far away from ground realities and has no idea about the main concerns of Indians.

2. Urdhva Mukha Svanasana

Last Year, many Muslim organization rejected the practice of Surya Namaskar as the pose demands them to bow (like they do in Namaaz). But they probably have failed to notice that the Urdhva Mukha Svanasana looks like a crescent. People like Maulana Barkati and Asaduddin Owaisi should take a look at it, It can surely tear the secular fabric of India by converting a religious insignia into a pose.

3. Utthan Pristhasana

This looks like a Chameleon. Is this a way of mocking at the Arvind Kejriwal, his ever-changing colors and priorities? He must get offended and hence call a dharna against it. It has been a long Dharnaless Half-Year anyway!

4. Parsvottanasana

Look how the lady is kissing her knee in this pose. This is intended to hurt the Communists. This pose tries to prove that Commies have their brains located at their knees. Very wrong indeed. Commies must protest online, start some random trend on Twitter and tell their folks in Media to trend #IntoleranceInIndia.

5. Virabhadrasana

Look at the aggression in this pose. This basiscally reflects the Army Chief’s changed stance in Kashmir. We’ll shoot the terrorists. We’ll treat stone pelters as Terrorists and shoot them too. We’ll rid the valley of terrorists before December 2017. Human Rights can begin their chest beating procession over this pose.

6. Garudasana

See how the lady is forcibly knotting her hands in this pose. The natural tendency of the hands is to separate from each other. Is this India’s Kashmir agenda? Does India want to send a strong message to Kashmiri separatists with this pose? That no matter how hard you wish to break free, we will hold you back strongly. Separatists should call for a Bandh in the Valley.

7. Balasana

First question why are ladies always chosen as Yoga mascots. This is not very Pro-Choice, you know! And secondly what’s with this Aasan? Is this what the patriarchal society of India has reduced the women to? This total surrender Aasan proves the bigotry and sexism of the society. No, I am not saying this but the feminists must understand this and revolt.

8. Savasana

This should irk the congress party. With this Yoga Aasan BJP wants to say that the Congress party is good as a Shava (corpse) and that they should simply rest in peace.

9. Baddha Konasana

Hey! look – This looks like a vandalized cross. Like the ones we see in run-up to elections. Can we have some reactions please?

These Yoga Poses are a threat to secular fabric of India. These Yoga Poses are the reason why India has become so intolerant as a nation. These Yoga Poses must immediately be banned to maintain the Ganga-Jamni Tehzeeb of India.

Also this is a satire on people who get offended by Yoga Aasanas, In case you forgot to notice the category.

All images taken from http://www.popsugar.com/ . An Amazing site for Yog Enthusiasts.