Every year the number of people looking for true love on apps and dating sites is increasing. According to recent statistics, about 18% of all modern marriages are between people who met online. That’s a big number..
But are modern dating services as effective as they seem? Or are they a complete waste of time?
We plan to help you understand these issues, and at the same time share some useful tips that will help make your online dating more effective. It’s going to be an interesting ride.
Addicted to dating apps
Addictiveness refers to the tendency to cause dependence. From a medical point of view, addiction usually means dependence, for example, on nicotine or alcoholic beverages. However, there are many ways to be addicted, and it’s also sometimes associated with online dating.
There are several factors that make online dating addictive:
- Reward effect. When a user swipes the profiles of other people, they do not know which of those people will reciprocate. This creates a feeling of passion and excitement, which is reinforced by the production of dopamine, the pleasure hormone. As a result, an addiction develops — the person wants to get more and more dopamine.
- The FOMO effect (fear of missing out). The user sees a large number of potential partners on the application and this gives rise to a fear of missing out on the right person. This forces them to swipe even more profiles, constantly open the app on their phone, and spend hour after hour in it.
- The effect of “choice paralysis”. This is an effect associated with the abundance of options for finding and choosing a potential partner. As someone’s ability to make decisions decreases, they feel depressed and insecure. As a result, they spend more time thinking than acting.
All of this suggests to us that traditional web dating is not as effective as marketers would like to convince us. This doesn’t mean you should completely abandon this format, but it’s worth adjusting your approach to online dating to achieve what you want. So next we’re going to share some alternative approaches to dating…
Dating in video chat
Sometimes the smartest solution is to radically change your approach to online dating. For example, instead of traditional services like Tinder, Bumble or Hinge, use online video chat — a platform that connects random people via video.
This format has one extremely important feature — you can’t just sit aimlessly for hours. In random chat, you either communicate with someone, or just leave the site. On such applications and sites, there are usually no user profiles, dozens of search settings, questionnaires, or anything else that absorbs the lion’s share of your free time — just communication.
On our part, we can recommend two video chat services for you — https://coomeet.chat/ and Holla. These online webcam chats are similar in many aspects, but at the same time they have some important differences. CooMeet offers you a flawless gender filter and a built-in message translator. Meanwhile Holla online videochat, with similar functionality, can offer advanced algorithms for selecting chat partners. We recommend trying both video chat apps to see which one suits you best.
Finding a partner in niche dating services
As we said above, too many potential partners can actually turn from an advantage into a disadvantage. There are simply too many users on Tinder. And within this variety, even using numerous search filters and smart algorithms, it can be very difficult to find the right person in whom you’ll be truly interested.
Niche dating services attract a much smaller audience, but they are exactly the people with whom you might build a genuine connection. After all, these are people with the same interests and outlook on life as you.
Today you can find great niche dating sites and apps for a wide variety of users: vegetarians and vegans, travel lovers, wealthy people, and so on. Almost everyone can find something tailored towards them. Believe us, on these sites you can really increase your chances for a successful date and potential relationship.
Time rationing
One of the reasons why you might become addicted to online dating is a lack of time control. You already open the app every 15-20 minutes without thinking, and in the evening after school or work you can sit on it for hours. However, such fanaticism does not guarantee you a successful dating life.
Hence our advice: try not to use dating apps and sites for more than 20-40 minutes a day. Leave more time for real life, communicate with friends and relatives more often, go outside, and don’t be afraid to talk to people offline. It’s possible that you’ll meet your love in the real world, not on the internet.
Of course, if you have already met an interesting person who you like, you can devote more time to them. But in this case, do not limit yourself only to text messaging — try to move your communication into video chat as soon as possible. This will allow you to better understand what kind of person they are, what their beliefs are, whether they are keen to develop a relationship, and whether there is a chance for you to be together.
How to communicate on the internet and not waste your time
The problem with many dating service users is that they approach the question of finding a partner in the wrong way, and at the same time expect everything to work out by itself. But it doesn’t work that way. So we want to give you a few more useful tips that can increase your chances.
- Define your own goals and expectations for dating
Before you start chatting on a dating app, you need to be clear about what you want to get out of the process. Are you looking for a serious relationship, a short-term romance, friendship, or just fun? What qualities do you value in a partner and what compromises are you willing to make?
We also advise you to work out which communication format suits you best — text, voice or video. For the initial encounter, you can use any of these options, but we advise you to focus on video communication, since there are much more prospects in such an approach.
- Be active and proactive
Don’t wait for someone to text you first or invite you to meet. If you are interested in a person, write to them yourself. And if you feel like you’re ready to take your conversation to the next level, don’t be afraid to offer to set up a video date and chat face to face. This is the only way to get to know a person well enough and prepare for your first offline meeting.
During the date, it’s also best not to hesitate, because even the most interesting online communication can simply fade away over time. It needs a push, and a real meeting is just capable of being that push.
One more thing: who is most likely to develop an addiction to online dating?
In truth, this sort of addiction can occur in almost anyone, but there are several factors that contribute to it especially strongly:
- Psychological factors. Lack of social communication, stress, anxiety, feelings of loneliness — all this can very quickly lead to addiction.
- Social factors. If someone has a small circle and feels uncomfortable in their social environment, they are already at risk of becoming addicted to dating applications.
We sincerely hope that this information was useful for you, and helps you understand how to avoid dating app addictions and not be seduced by the marketing. Online dating is awesome, and opens up truly tremendous opportunities for exciting and fruitful encounters. But all this is valid only if you have the right approach, and are in the right mindset to meet a potential partner. We’re sure you’ll find the person you’ve always dreamed of, it just takes a little effort!
