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Jawan: Why not call it a 3-hour audition for “Money Heist – India” instead?

Animesh Pandey by Animesh Pandey
8 September 2023
in Cinema
Jawan: Why not call it a 3-hour audition for “Money Heist – India” instead?
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What do you call a movie that seems to have the brains of Satyamev Jayate 2, the intent of Money Heist, the tactics of Vikram, and the execution of Race 3? At first glance, it might sound like a recipe for cinematic disaster, a hot mess in the making. But hey, in India, we’ve got a different word for that concoction: we call it “mass,” and it drops into theaters under the title “Jawan.”

Now, you might be thinking, “Oh boy, another one of those films.” But let me throw a curveball your way. What if we dubbed it “Money Heist India Screen Test: Atlee Cut” instead?

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But hold on, there’s more to this story. Sprinkle in a dash of women empowerment as garnish, and poof, you’ve got another “mass” entertainer on your hands. So, grab your popcorn, get ready for some twists and turns, and let’s dive into “Jawan” or should I say, “Money Heist India Screen Test: Atlee Cut with a Hint of Empowerment.” The only thing that was actually missing from this was a desi version of “Bella Ciao!”

The Synopsis You’ve Never Thought Of:

Picture this: the movie kicks off with an injured guy seeking refuge in a tribal village. Hold up a sec, doesn’t that sound a bit familiar, like something Stephen Chow might cook up? But hey, we’re not here to judge; we’re here to be entertained!

Just when you think you’ve got the plot pegged, the village gets ambushed. And lo and behold, our mummy-like fellow, who could easily be mistaken for Imhotep on vacation in Bangladesh, suddenly morphs into a spear-wielding Thor. And guess who’s rocking the Thor getup? None other than our very own SRK! Now, that’s a twist you didn’t see coming, right?

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Fast forward to the present day, and you’ve got a bustling metro train hijacked by a bunch of folks who seem like they watched one too many episodes of Squid Game. These self-proclaimed exterminators are led by none other than our desi PROFESSOR! But here’s the kicker: instead of rocking those Salvador Dali masks, they’ve got something else up their sleeves.

Oh, and did I mention that the professor has a rather unique demand? He wants Alia Bhatt on speed dial, crooning on “Aapko Hamari Kasam Laut Aaiye.” And to sweeten the deal, he’s looking to ask for ransom, oops, settle some outstanding debts. The hostages oblige, paying their dues with an Imhotep-style tribute. But here’s where things get interesting. The villain gets shell shocked on hearing his name. Isn’t this MASS?

Our desi Raquel isn’t all that impressed, not until she crosses paths with his alter ego, Azad. Talk about a double whammy! Atlee, you sly genius, you’ve definitely managed to serve up a dish that doesn’t taste anything like Satyamev Jayate 2. There you have it, folks. A movie that’s dishing out surprises like a magician on caffeine. If this doesn’t pique your curiosity, I don’t know what will.

What is Jawan actually?

What exactly is “Jawan”? Is it a pure action-packed entertainer, a film with a screeching social message, or perhaps, just a three-hour-long audition for the Indian version of “Money Heist”? Well, brace yourselves, because the answer is a delightful cocktail of all of the above!

Before we dive in, let me issue a stern warning to all the movie buffs out there: If you’re seeking pure, adrenaline-pumping entertainment like a John Wick flick or even some basic, coherent storytelling, it might be time to reconsider your movie choices.

Now, is “Jawan” on the same level of cinematic disaster as “Pathaan”? Thankfully, no. But for those who have a soft spot for films like “Jailer,” “Vikram,” and their ilk, “Jawan” might feel like a different universe altogether.

Let’s ponder this for a moment: What if this very film had been cast with someone like the flamboyant Ranveer Singh or the versatile Ayushmann Khurrana? Would it have made a world of difference? But since this is SRK, so “Sab Changa Si!”

Now, let’s talk about one of the most mind-boggling aspects of “Jawan.” This film marks the official Hindi debut of Nayanthara, who happens to be of the same age as Riddhi Dogra, the actress portraying SRK’s adoptive mother in the movie. Nayanthara is also a year or two older than Deepika Padukone. But here’s the kicker: she’s playing the love interest of SRK’s son, who is, you guessed it, also SRK himself! Christopher Nolan would probably faint at the mere mention of this logic-defying casting choice.

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Speaking of casting, let’s not forget Vijay Sethupathi, who seems to have taken on the role of the Santhanam of “Vikram,” with a dash of Matrix influence—those red and blue pills. From being a badass officer in “Farzi” to a villain with, let’s say, unique priorities in “Jawan,” one can’t help but wonder who’s worse when it comes to choosing Hindi projects, Prabhas or Vijay?

Oh, did I overlook mentioning Deepika Padukone? My sincere apologies, but it seems the film might have done the same. Her presence was as memorable as her role in “83.” You know, the rest.

In a nutshell, “Jawan” is the kind of entertainer that politely asks you to leave your ideology, common sense, and pretty much your entire brain outside the auditorium. If you’re up for some mindless entertainment, the kind where logic takes a backseat and pure cinematic mayhem rules the day, then “Jawan” should be right up your alley.

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Tags: AtleeBollywoodBox officeCinemajawanMass EntertainerMoney HeistMoviesShah Rukh Khan
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