This is not even about nepotism; Coolie No. 1 remake is plain horrible and a huge insult to Govinda

There are bad movies, there are worse movies, then there is Sadak 2, and then finally there is Coolie no. 1. The David Dhawan directed movie is an abhorrent and simply put, a grotesque joke of a remake of the 25-year-old Govinda, Kader Khan classic. The story is practically the same but the execution so haywire, the acting so repugnant that even the hardcore lovers of Bollywod masala flicks would give this movie a hard pass.

The opening sequence of the movie where Varun Dhawan is nonchalantly strolling over the Mumbai local train (surprisingly, without any overhead wires and capillaries) with utmost finesse and without any general regard to laws of physics, can even put Barry Allen’s Flash to shame. The Justice League Snyder cut comes out in three months and apart from the Darkseid, one can be hopeful that Varun Dhawan makes a cameo as the tachyon-fed Scarlet Speedster, not some yesteryear star-like Ezra Miller.

The sheer visual diarrhea of the movie is enough for one to realize that it was the talent and comic timing of Govinda that made sure such movies achieved the status of a blockbuster. David Dhawan who might have patted his back for creating the Govinda brand, must have received a stark reality check that without Govinda’s exuberance, half of his ‘No. 1’ movie franchise would have bombed spectacularly at the box office.

Kader Khan, whose role was reprised by Paresh Rawal also failed to restore any parity. If the plot and its execution were somehow overlooked, it was the undertones of misogyny, fat-shaming, body shaming, and disability shaming that made this movie torture for the cinema-goers or for those who watched it from the comfort of their homes, only to shudder in the tremors of pain and agony in the desolate loneliness of their bedrooms.

The surge of Indians charting flights towards tourist destinations like Goa and Maldives was solely because these individuals survived Coolie No. 1 and wanted to purge themselves after gulping the travesty that was served in whimsical and atrocious quantities whilst watching the abomination that was Coolie No. 1.

Sadak 2, Bagghi 3 and all the platinum ‘blockbuster’ gems of this year pale in front of the remake. It would not be underselling the statement one bit that the aforementioned movies appear to be academy award-winning endeavors in front of Coolie No. 1.

Sadak 2 and Coolie No. 1 are currently competing for who has the lowest rating on IMDB and it is the only box office duel that Varun Dhawan’s movie seems capable of handsomely winning.

Sara Khan started off her Bollywood career decently well in Kedarnath but since Love AajKal 2, her acting prowess, or albeit the lack of it has left the audience rummaging around for answers as to why they bought the tickets or the subscription to watch the movie. Sara needs to go back to the drawing board and try to figure out what she wants from these movies. Some acting classes will surely go a long way for her.

The producers and the actors of the movie should understand that scripts, such as that of Coolie No.1 and several other problematic movies from the early 90s, might have adhered to the taste of the public then but in the third decade of the 21^st century, such movies are being outrightly rejected by the cinema-goers.

Varun Dhawan who has given movies like Badlapur and October in the past must have been compelled by his ‘son duties’ to take up the movie, otherwise, there seems no logical inference as to why he would be beguiled in the trap of his father’s movie. However, that being said, Varun has been inadvertently focusing more and more on commercially masala movies (read: Judwaa 2, Main Tera Hero) and we sincerely hope that he mends his ways and gets back doing sensible cinema.

Most importantly, we hope that the debacle of Coolie No. 1 forces the entire Bollywood industry to give up on the incessant urge of remaking classics. After all, we all want 2021 to be a pandemic-free year? Don’t we?