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‘Coca-Cola founder used to sell Shikanji’ and other ‘Rahulisms’.

Shubham Singh by Shubham Singh
11 June 2018
in Satire
rahul gandhi, shikanji
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After coming up with the idea of making a machine which can convert potatoes into gold, Rahul Gandhi is back again with his oh-so-cherished pearls of wisdom. Today at Delhi’s Talkatora Stadium speaking to party’s OBC wing, the Congress President talked about the origin of various companies. He said that the person who started the soft-drink company coca-cola, used to sell Shikanji in USA. Rahul baba woke up at night in the morning and personally went to USA to drink famous Shikanji of California (Not Modinagar {Modinagar is famous for its Shikanjis, ask any Dilliwalla and it has nothing to do with PM Modi})”. He is a teetotaler and consumes Shikanji imported from America. He further added that the guy used to mix sugar in water. His work was appreciated and he became successful. All the Shikanji stall owners of India just listen to this, if you guys want to become successful start mixing sugar in water.

The next point of Rahul Gandhi is very important for all the UPSC aspirants. This question may also find a place in the UPSC mains exams. So pay attention to it. He said that the founder of Mcdonald’s used to run Dhaba in the country. After listening to his speech, we (The writers at least) at rightlog are so inspired and motivated that we may resign only to open Shikanji stalls and Dhabas. He further enlightened the common folks that companies like Mercedes, Honda and Ford were started by ‘mechanics’. This shows the great knowledge Rahul Gandhi has about the world and how every corporate giant had a humble beginning. Glad he didn’t say that Zuckerberg sold face powder before starting Facebook or Steve Jobs was a Job consultant and Carlos Slim was a weight loss professional. But one thing is for certain that if he comes to power and leads our country, we can have many Steve Jobs of Microsoft in our country as well. Such motivational and inspiring stories cannot be found even in Shiv Khera’s book ‘You Can Win.’ This is the greatness of Rahul Gandhi. He has told us about things which are unknown to even the founder of aforementioned companies. He is factually very creative. He always speaks his mind even when his voice shakes.

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But jealous, brain-dead, illiterate right wingers are making fun of Rahul Gandhi’s enlightening, inspiring, motivating speech. He operates on a higher level of being, the dimension which the right-wingers cannot even fathom, let alone understand.

Here is @indiantweeter all set to launch a competitor of Coca Cola #AccordingToRahulGandhi pic.twitter.com/wFsZjf3HvX

— Rahul Roushan (@rahulroushan) June 11, 2018

Rare childhood Photo of Wright Brothers who use to sell Kites #AccordingToRahulGandhi pic.twitter.com/8bNFsslUml

— Rishi Bagree (@rishibagree) June 11, 2018

No matter how much fun these ignorant Sanghis make of Rahul Gandhi, under the leadership of Rahul Gandhi, the Congress is going to sweep the elections in Chhattisgarh, Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh, Middle East, Germany, France, USA, Nigeria, Kenya, Central Asia etc. The Sanghis are undermining the capabilities of Rahul Gandhi. They don’t know that Rahul Gandhi is as active as a sloth, his brain runs faster than as a turtle and is as undefeatable as France.

Make no mistake, Rahul Gandhi has delivered the most historic speech in the history of mankind. Let us all drink our Shikanji to that, topped with sugar of course.

Tags: Rahul GandhiRahul Gandhi speech
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