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Arvind Kejriwal explains why he banned Dharnas, and it makes sense

Atul Kumar Mishra by Atul Kumar Mishra
4 August 2016
in Satire
Arvind Kejriwal Dharnas
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Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal, who is a product of dharnas himself, has ostensibly banned demonstrations in front of his official residence in the national capital. The National Capital Territory (NCT) government has imposed Section 144 around the chief minister’s residence in Delhi on the ground that “any demonstration, protests or dharna will create public nuisance and serious law and order problems”.

Source: India Today

Stung by this two-facedness, One of our correspondents decided to face Kejriwal head on. Finding Kejriwal was tough. He was recuperating in a Vipassana meditation centre in Dharamsala. Kejriwal was uncharacteristically cheerful. He offered a cup of fuming Himalayan herbal tea which the correspondent gladly accepted.

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TFI Correspondent: Hello sir, how are the Vipassana sessions going on?

Kejriwal: Oh very well…my breathing is much more controlled. I do not get fits of cough anymore and I feel calm

TFI Correspondent: So we might see a more sensible, a more patient Arvind Kejriwal this time around

Kejriwal: The way I see it, I have always been extremely patient and exceedingly calm

(TFI Correspondent giggles)

Kejriwal clears throat, his moustache curls into a faint smile.

Arvind Kejriwal: I know you don’t think so, it is fine and I am not here to change opinions but I am impatient only in matters of 3M – Modi, Movies and a certain creed that starts with M.

TFI Correspondent: That’s alright sir…let us get down to business. A report in The Economic Times states that you have banned dharnas, is it true?

Arvind Kejriwal: Correctamundo…although there is no global ban, just that you can’t sit on dharnas in front of my residence

TFI Correspondent: And why is that so?

Arvind Kejriwal: Why why? Because a CM needs his sleeps too. A CM is also a human being. And I double up as AAP’s star campaigner too, all the more reasons for me to have a peaceful sleep. Did you see how that Maheish Girri created ruckus here? He came here with his horde of chamchas, spread out mattresses right in front of gates and lied down for what seemed like the end of time

TFI Correspondent: But isn’t it a bit duplicitous? I mean your entire political structure came out of Dharnas.

Arvind Kejriwal: Yes that’s right and that is also one of the reasons why I am ‘intolerant’ towards Dharnas

TFI Correspondent: Care to elucidate?

Kejriwal: Just answer in yes or no?

TFI Correspondent: Alright…I mean Yes

Arvind Kejriwal: Am I a good leader?

TFI Correspondent: No

Kejriwal: Am I a good CM?

TFI Correspondent: No

Kejriwal: Do I work?

TFI Correspondent: No

Arvind Kejriwal: Have I been able to put the corrupts behind the bars?

TFI Correspondent: No

Arvind Kejriwal: Have I shamed the entire political class?

TFI Correspondent: Yes

Arvind Kejriwal: Does my party deserve a second term or a new government in any other state?

TFI Correspondent: No

Arvind Kejriwal: Was my Party a product of Dharnas?

TFI Correspondent: Yes

Arvind Kejriwal: What does this prove, can dharnas achieve anything?

TFI Correspondent: No

Arvind Kejriwal: Was my decision of banning Dharnas right?

TFI Correspondent: Yes

Kejriwal: There you go buddy!

Do I need to tell you that this is a satirical piece and has no connections with reality?
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