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Coronation of Clown Prince, as described by a Chamcha

Kannan by Kannan
3 June 2016
in Satire
Clown Prince
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My Dear Momma Mafiosi – I share the anxiety of all Chamchas of Congress, when there was this sudden news of planning about Coronation of our beloved Clown Prince. This news struck us like a lightening, when we sit in a car in the middle of a large green meadow. We share the anxiety of the coastal residents, who await for the sea waves to rise and engulf them, after listening to the news bulletin informing an earthquake on the opposite shore and warning of tsunami!

Being Chamchas, I know we are like those sheep that gloat in happiness before Bakrid. When the Kasaee sprinkles a glass of water over our goatees and extends its neck in anticipation of soft rub on the folds of the skin. Alas, it gets halal-ed. Still, the next one in line extends its neck. Somehow, in the last seven decades your family hypnotised us into believing that our existence is for ‘thy sake only’.

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Frankly, the news of elevation of our clown prince is a happy news to the all Chamchas. We’re waiting for this inevitable thing for nearly one and half a decade. Many of us believe your choice of Manmohan Singh as Prime Minister had denied an opportunity to the genius our Pappu. Had our Pappu became PM in 2004, by 2009, India would have rose in international perception and would have been equivalent to North Korea, where the Kim dynasty rules the nation (almost similar to our party) or Syria, where women are empowered to be sex slaves. Alas, you chose Manmohan and he chose not to do anything except flaunt his ‘integral’ credentials. One decade of waste!

I do strongly feel that your denial of Prime Ministerial post to our prince would go down in the history of the world as a strange example when a loving and doting mother denied her able son, the most deserved position that she could offer. Had he been made PM in 2002, he would have become second only the Bharata, the loving brother of Rama, who ruled Ayodhya for fourteen long years, that became his rightfully, by the grant of his mother’s wish by the dead King. And I feel, it was after him only that our country was called Bharata Varsha, and not by the other Bharata, son of Shakuntala and Dushyant, who rode tigers as a small boy. After all, we know the depth of our historians as we appoint them to interpret the history to suit to us.

When our clown prince spoke about ‘Povety being a state of mind’, I realised there was not a single philosopher born in this land after Buddha, who explained the ways and effects of ‘Maya’, the only eternal thing. Even Adi Sankara, who professed that the entire world is ‘Maya’ could not decipher the entire philosophy in a single statement, like our prince did. Manmohan Singh was hailed by the Obama, even if he never spoke. I wonder how much Obama might have pleased with the single sentence philosophy delivered by our Prince. Consider how it would have raised the intellectual standard of our nation in the eyes of the world.

When people like Karunanidhi and Sharad Pawar are trying to be content with their talent, our Prince went on sabbatical only to return with his Aura’s diameter increased. Such quest and appetite for knowledge enhancement was not heard since the days of Hanuman, who followed the ever travelling Sun god to learn from him. Even when someone like Nitish joined hands with us, led by the Prince, immediately there evolved a new subject in Bihar, called ‘Prodikal Science’, which Chidu uncle believes was in fact ‘Prodigal Science’ a subject, after learning which a child would become ‘child prodigy’. So, guess how many new subjects would have evolved if our Prince ruled entire nation!

When our Yuvraj accepted in the parliament that he doesn’t know all things, like the Sanghis, we know he was in fact confessing he doesn’t know anything. But, see the positive side. Such confession in the grand arena of Indian politics, in the Parliament! May be this is the only moment in the long history of our grand old party, when someone from Nehru-Gandhi family tried to put the slogan ‘Satyameva Jayate’ into practical use. Though there are apprehensions about the ‘Jayate’, we’re sure about the ‘Satya’ in the confession by the clown prince.

When clown prince agreed to speak from the same dais on which the veteran commie leader Buddhadeb was talking some more nonsense, everyone thought Congress was committing a political hara-kiri.

See the result, we got more seats than the commies! After Chanakya, there was no one in the recent past, including the PVNR, who was wrongly called Chanakya, to conceive, plan and execute such a blow to the commies, except our c. Had someone told Baba that at present Didi is our target and not the old guards of commies, we could have had an alliance with TMC and trounce them also. When I read about Hoover’s comment “it is better to have him in our camp, as he has a nasty habit of peeing on the other side”. I could only understand the full impact of the statement, post Bengal polls.

And the recent master idea that would ensure the master-slave relationship between the first family of the party and we Chamchas, ‘signed affidavits’ of allegiance from our MLAs, I believe another gem of an idea germinated in the mind of the ‘Smoking Pot’ that our Prince is. Despite the ‘Rashtriya Damad’, the wisest Indian trying to grab the headlines as if they were also pieces of real estate, he could no longer be present on the headlines. Within twenty four hours, Prince occupied the major slot on all news debates, even if he did nothing. Such is the news value of our Prince.

In fact, the pleasant relief felt by all Chamchas could only be summarised by Ekta Kapoor’s dialogue beautifully spoken by Vidya Balan. With the coronation of our clown prince, we look forward to the days that would be full of ‘Entertainment! Entertainment! Entertainment!’
Thanking you in anticipation.

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/52549328.cms

Tags: CongressRahul GandhiSonia Gandhi
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