JNU teachers supported the JNU students in boycotting classes in protest against arrest of Kanhaiya Kumar, the JNUSU leader in a sedition case. JNU Teachers took classes on “nationalism” in the varsity lawns. The one-and-half-hour long lecture on “nationalism” was held every evening at 5 in front of the administration block. Seeing the vehement support of JNU Teachers, some intellectuals and celebrity journalists like P Sainath also pitched in.
Tyler Durden was also one of them. Here is what happened in his class on Nationalism.
JNU Students: Hey Tyler, thanks for agreeing to take classes on nationalism. You finally realized that JNU folks are special
Tyler Durden: Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
JNU Students: But we are the last commie bastion, they call us the fourth leftist estate. We are pure, unadulterated old school communists
Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
JNU Students: We are the smartest students of India. We question the status quo. We revolt at the drop of a hat. We have a purpose, to carry the revolution forward.
Tyler Durden: You’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. You have no Great War. No Great Depression. Your Great War’s a counterfeit war… Your Great Depression is your lives.
JNU Students: Okay, start with the class
Tyler Durden: Good. The first rule of My Class is: you do not talk about My Class. The second rule of My Class is: you DO NOT talk about My Class! Third rule of My Class: someone yells “stop!” goes limp, taps out, the class is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a discussion. Fifth rule: one discussion at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No Kurtas, no Beard. Seventh rule: Discussions will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at My Class, you have to Discuss.
JNU Students: Whaat? Only one discussion at a time? And just two people. We attack in groups and yack about 20 random things at the same time. And what’s with no Kurta and beard? How are we supposed to look like JNU students then?
Tyler Durden: You’re not your classes. You’re not how much socialism you have in the blocked head. You’re not the cycle you drive. You’re not the contents of your tattered wallet. You’re not your fucking Kurtas. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
JNU Students: What the hell? We are independent minds. We get high on revolution.
Tyler Durden: Revolution gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you’re yelling giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It’s all right here. Look at your Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
JNU Students: Please don’t compare us with Hindus, we hate them
Tyler Durden: The people you hate, end up owning you.
JNU Students: Okay explain nationalism now
Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that your country does not like unfaithful filth like you. She never wanted unfaithful filth like you. In all probability, she hates you and your entire tribe. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
JNU Students: Are you a goddamn Sanghi?
Tyler Durden: Is this the best you can come up with? Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with antinationalism that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Get out of your university. Meet a member of the opposite political ideology. Stop the excessive sloganeering and intellectual masturbation. Quit your activism-giri. Fight for a cause. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your nationalism you will become a statistic. You have been warned.
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