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दुर्गा सहस्रनाम

Guest Author by Guest Author
6 August 2013
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प्यारे भैया जी,
गाँव से प्रेमपाती आई – मालूम चला आपने उस कलमुंही को निकाल दिया। अच्छा ही किया – कल के बच्चे, ज़रा कलम क्या थमा दो हाथ में, फड़फड़ करने लगते हैं … अब पता चलेगा कमबख्त को कि आप आख़िर चीज़ क्या हैं!
सुना है कि कंवल भारती नाम का कोई तथाकथित लेखक उसके बारे में लिख रहा था, उसको भी आपके ठुल्लों ने बड़े घर की सैर करवा दी? अच्छा हुआ, भला जनवरी में जयपुर जाये बिना कोई लेखक बनता है आजकल क्या! वो तो आग लगे मजिस्ट्रेट में, मूरख ने जाने दिया आपके भेजने के बावज़ूद – आप आदेश दें तो कुछ गड़े मुर्दे उनके भी आंगन से निकाल लेंगे (नहीं निकले तो ज़िंदा लोग-लुगाई गाड़ देंगे, आपने सीख देने में कोई कमी कौनू छोड़ी है, हें हें हें)
वैसे एकठो बात बोलनी है छोटे मालिक – आजकल ना का है, ये जनता थोड़ी ज़्यादा ही उत्तेजित हो जाती है, सुना है कोई नई चीज़ है हवा में, स्वतं  … गणतं  … ना जाने क्या भैया जी, हमरी तो समझ नहीं आत – अंग्रेज चले गए लेकिन ये दस झंझटें गले में डाल गए ससुरे! हम कहे देते हैं, दो जूते मार के रखॊ, सब ठीक हॊ जाएंगे – ज़रा वोट दे दिय़े तो उड़ने लगे, कल बोलेंगे औरतें हम आदमियों के बराबर हैं – कलियुग है भैया जी, कलियुग।

नवरात्रि आ रही है – दुर्गा सप्तशती का पाठ आप श्रीगणेश करें तो आनंद हो जाए! बस थोड़ा बच के रहिएगा भैया जी, दुर्गा या दरोगा किसी को भी जोश आ गया तो आपके साथ अन्याय न हो जावे कहीं…

वो का है ना भैया जी, आजकल घरों की कीमतें तो बाप रे बाप, आसमान छू रही हैं…थॊड़ी कृपा हो जाए तो एक अदना-सा घरौंदा हम भी बना लें-बस रेत का ना हो, मालूम चला सरकार बदलने पर उस नासपटी ने मेरा घर भी गिरा दिया!
आपकी सेवा में हाज़िर आपका चरणसेवी,
चापलूसी-चतुर चंपक
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