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HOME » Lounge » Satire » An Adarsh Liberal takes on a Right Winger and Defeats him Comprehensively. Epic.

An Adarsh Liberal takes on a Right Winger and Defeats him Comprehensively. Epic.

Shailesh Subramanian
by Shailesh Subramanian
16 October 2017
in Satire
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Since independence, the Indian left has been successful in projecting themselves as highly intellectual, decent, unbiased and caring for the people. Below are some typical day to day conversations with the leftist liberals on some selected topics. These are not entirely fictional and such kind of conversations can be witnessed very regularly. Readers can decide for themselves if the Adarsh Liberals are indeed what they are known to be.

On Supreme Court banning crackers in NCR region:

AL: Wonderful decision by the Supreme Court to ban crackers. Crackers cause so much air and noise pollution, scares away my little dog. 

Me: Yes, wonderful decision indeed. I too do not burst crackers. But I must say that only when it comes to Hindu festivals does the Supreme Court find its voice.

AL: You low IQ Sanghis are so divisive. You are unnecessarily communalizing this. 

Me: It’s not about communalizing. But Supreme Court can only ban crackers during Diwali or decide the height of Dahi Handi during Janmashtami. Also, why ban crackers only till Nov 1st? Why not ban crackers during IPL? During weddings and New Year? Why not ban political parties from bursting crackers after winning elections? Why only during Diwali? What about the livelihood of people from the cracker industry in Sivakasi? 

AL: Right to Breathe is more important. Moreover, crackers were not burst when your Lord Ram returned to Ayodhya as per Hindu mythology. It is an unholy addition. 

Me: Were loudspeakers present more than thousand years ago when Islam was founded? Are we not waking up to blaring sound of loudspeakers? 

AL: You guys are bigots and follow an ideology full of hate. Shame on you guys!

On compassion for animals:

AL: This Jallikattu is so regressive. The poor bulls are treated badly. I feel so sad for them. Those guys have absolutely no compassion for animals. How can they be so cruel? It must be banned. PETA has also been saying this. 

Me: Going by the same logic, isn’t Bakrid also regressive? So many goats are slaughtered mercilessly. Shouldn’t that also be banned? 

AL: You are unnecessarily targeting the poor minorities, who are already living in fear in India. Bakrid is a festival of sacrifice. You killers of Mahatma Gandhi will never understand the values of sacrifice. 

Me: When you use the word sacrifice, you will have to give up something that’s dear to you. The sacrificed goat is not dear to the person slaughtering it. Also, I’ve not killed anyone. 

AL: This is part of their culture and you shouldn’t be commenting on it. Moreover, the sacrificed goat is distributed among the poor. Serving humanity this way is such a noble and wonderful deed. 

Me: But Annadanam is done in many temples across India all days of the year. That happens without any violence and propaganda. 

AL: You are an Islamophobic Sanghi.

On the Indian economy:

AL: Demonetization was such a disaster. Thousands of people died standing in queues. Trust this fascist government to come up with such draconian and illogical moves. 

Me: It was a much-needed disruption to check the menace of black money. 

AL: RBI has recovered more than 90% of the notes. This proves that there was no black money in the form of cash. 

Me: That does not mean all of it is white. So many shell companies have been identified and actions have been taken against them. It has resulted in more digital transactions; more money brought into the banking system and has made people more accountable. Study the real estate sector to understand how much black money is generated. 

AL: ok. GDP growth is down to 5.7%. There are no private investments. This government does not know E of Economics. 

Me: Why are there no private investments? It is because of the high NPAs, a legacy of the UPA government that’s now being corrected. GST also caused some disruption in the market and had an impact on the GDP. Things are bound to pick up. 

AL: You are a blind Modi Bhakt. Ask any economist and he will tell you that demonetization is a failure. 

Me: Nobel winner Richard Thaler has spoken in favor of demonetization. The World Bank has also spoken for demonetization. 

AL: They don’t know crap about India. Demonetization is a disaster. Period. Ask Arvind Kejriwal.

On the freedom struggle:

AL: Wonder why Savarkar is called Veer Savarkar. He begged before the British for mercy. Gandhi and Nehru fought so hard to drive the British away and secure independence for us. 

Me: Savarkar did not beg the British for mercy as you put it. Nehru was in a five star jail and did not undergo a tenth of the torture that Savarkar underwent. Besides, Nehru and Gandhi were not the only ones who fought for our independence. Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar Azad, Lala Lajpat Rai contributed much more. 

AL: You followers of Godse will never understand the principles of the Mahatma. 

Me: I am not a follower of Godse. I have immense respect for Gandhi, but he did commit blunders like the support for Khilafat movement, his reluctance to oppose the death penalty to Bhagat Singh, his unflinching support for Nehru by bypassing Sardar Patel were some of them. 

AL: You’ve achieved nothing in life. You have no business talking about the Mahatma this way. 

Me: Same applies to you talking about Veer Savarkar. 

AL: It was Gandhiji’s Quit India movement that drove away the British from India. 

Me: The impact of the Quit India movement has been exaggerated by our historians. I would say Netaji had a bigger role to play. This has been mentioned by none other than the then British PM Clement Attlee. 

AL: You hateful Sanghis don’t know history, doesn’t come as a surprise that you support bloodshed and belong to an organization that killed the Mahatma. Your mindset is sick and perverted.

On trolling:

AL: Right wingers absolutely lack culture and decency. They don’t know how to respect woman and can never engage in a civil debate. 

Me: Tehseen Poonawala, who made sexist remarks against Smriti Irani is not a right winger. Rana Ayyub and Shehla Rashid, who abuse people online, are not right wingers. Sanjukta Basu is not a right winger. Digvijya Singh is not a right woiger. Roshan Baig is not a right winger. So, the use of foul language is done by people from both sides. So, do not take the moral high ground. 

AL: But your PM follows such trolls. That’s the sad part. It shows that he endorses such language. Read Swati Chaturvedi’s book to know more. 

Me: I follow Tehseen Poonawala. Does that mean I endorse his views on Smriti Irani? 

AL: Did you not witness how poor Gurmehar Kaur was harassed for only airing her views? 

Me: Madhu Kishwar and Raveena Tandon have been harassed much more. 

AL: For their narrow minded ideology, they deserve all the filthy abuse they are getting.

On caste system and caste based reservation:

AL: Hinduism is such a misogynistic religion full of patriarchy. 

Me: And what makes you say so? 

AL: Caste system is so sick. Dalits all over India are ill-treated so badly. 

Me: Yes, caste system is bad. Any kind of discrimination against anyone is bad, but the original concept in Hinduism is different. In Ram Rajya, the Shudras and Vaishyas were also treated well. Back then, it was not birth based and was based on the skills and interest that one possessed. But I concede that over the years, the system became rigid and birth based. 

AL: Don’t give me this nonsense. You are supporting bad treatment of Dalits in India. 

Me: No. I already told you there should be no discrimination and anyone discriminating must be punished. 

AL: Brahminism must be done away with. All those wearing the so called holy thread must be humiliated in public. 

Me: It’s not that Brahmins are not discriminated against. The flawed reservation policy has always been against Brahmins. Why cannot the reservation be based on the financial status of a person rather than caste? 

AL: You guys persecuted the Dalits and shudras so much all these years. Now, when they are given some privileges, you cry foul. 

Me: Even if one assumes that Brahmins actually persecuted the dalits few generations back, it still does not justify the reservation policy. Going by that logic, Muslims like Khilji, Babur, Aurangzeb, Tipu Sultan and even Akbar ill treated the Hindus. Would it justify if Hindus resort to retribution now? Not all dalits are poor and not all Brahmins are rich. Instead of further dividing the people, why not take a person’s financial position into consideration? 

AL: Your Manuwadi views are sick and shows that you are anti Dalit. 

Me: Have you read the Manu Smriti? 

AL: No way am I going to read that sick book, which is anti-dalit and anti shudras.

One-line Conclusion from these conversations: The Adarsh liberals are incorrigible and are beyond redemption.

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Shailesh Subramanian

Shailesh Subramanian

Functional manager in the IT industry by profession and a budding novelist. A keen follower of Indian Politics, Economics, Hindu philosophy and history. Proponent of right-of-center politics. Have no qualms in admitting that I am a Hindu nationalist.

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