1) Clean bowled –
That innings had Congress written all over it- same old technique, plays & misses, thick edges, plentiful mis-hits, but somehow managing to scrape through. After almost an eternity, the fielding team found out the right strategy to castle him. Their best bet, a fiery right arm fast bowler came in running from the Nationalist end. Just when Congress thought it had all the bases covered, the ball pitched on good length outside off, soared, reversed under the violent Modi wave & hit the middle stump. There’s no better sight for a fast bowler than to see the stumps flying into the orbit! All spectators rejoiced.
2) Leg before the Wicket:
When you don’t have the requisite skills & footwork to play modern day spin bowling, you go by the age-old ideology: see spin, sweep spin. Just like any other Leftist, as soon as the Communist Party of India saw the right arm, leg break bowler, his eyes lit up. Playing for the spin, he unfurled the sweep shot. To his surprise, it was the googly that went the other way, rapped onto his pad right in front of the stumps. People of India umpiring in the match had no second thoughts on declaring him out!
3) Catch Out –
Batsman at the crease was instructed by the senior left-handed non-striker to hook every bouncer that came his way. Just returning from a bio-break, the immature & amateurish Kanhaiya Kumar religiously hooked the next ball, top-edging it over the keeper & racing away to the boundary, much to the delight of the cheerleaders making their moves. Overwhelmed & over-excited, he hooked the next ball again, a vicious bouncer. The ball went up high into the air, touched the Jet Airways flight from Mumbai to Pune and with Ravi Shastri’s ‘In the air….’ still echoing, landed into the safe hands of the fielder.
4) Run Out –
Shiv Sena, miffed with the BJP for not giving him enough strike, has created a lot of nuisance for his senior partner. Lack of co-ordination, absurd calling & reckless running has often led to several brawling on the 22 yards. Their partnership has all the makings of a classic run-out dismissal. The fielding team feels it’s just a matter of time before one of them runs the other one out!
5) Stumping-
The batsman looked in top form, blunting the bowling attack. Scoring a hundred in the previous T20 match, Nitish Kumar looked set to play well in the Test Series. However, he got over-confident. Facing the first ball of spin, he jumped out of his crease and swung his bat like a Samurai’s sword only to find the ball sneaking past his bat into the wicket-keeper’s gloves. A smiling Narendra Modi wasted no time in clipping the bails and putting an end to his over-ambitious dream of becoming the ‘Man of the Match’.
6) Obstructing the field-
When you know that you are not going to complete the run & will be left stranded in the middle, what do you do? Arvind Kejriwal decided to come in the way of the throw, deviate the ball with his bat & prevent it from hitting the stumps. Knowing that the umpires would declare him out, he blamed the fielders for throwing the ball at him and that it was an act of self-defense. Although the big screens clearly showed him to be guilty, few of his fans starting protesting with him, shouting slogans, raising photo shopped banners and asking for players’ degrees. Eventually, he was dragged away from the field and the game resumed.
7) Hit wicket-
Although they had many experienced batsmen, they were entirely dependent on him. Rahul Gandhi never wanted to become a batsman, but had to upon insistence of the coach. The fielders closed in, started sledging & with the crowd joining them, Ramiz Raja’s eloquently unbiased commentary was unheard amidst the din of ‘Pappu…Pappu…’. The batsman panicked & swung his bat at the ball. Missing it by a long margin, the bat slipped, made a 360 degree revolution and landed a blow onto the stumps. He was out hit wicket. This happened in every game.
