Saving Alka Lamba

So this is what happened:

Aam Aadmi Party politician Alka Lamba was attacked during her so called anti-drug drive in a crowded market place in north Delhi. She emerged in front of the media with massive bandages on her head. A CCTV footage was released soon which showed Alka Lamba vandalizing a sweetshop. A BJP politician hit out at Alka Lamba and called her a “drug addict”.

What seemed like a masterplan bombed at the political box office.

Critics and public gave it a neat zero.

But AAP doesn’t take insults lying down. A war room was set up(probably) and hot discussion were taken up(probably).

This (probably) is how the AAP Wallahs must have planned to avoid the ire of people and media and save Alka Lamba.

And do I need to mention “please don’t lose your minds folks, this is a satire”

Arvind Kejriwal: Alright it is official comrades, the plan has backfired.

Sanjay Singh: Yeah man…frigging amateurs…Alka Lamba don’t you know how to check for hidden cameras?

Kumar Vishwas: Camera chhupa nahi tha saamne tha sabke, Ab to wo hi bachayega inhe jo bandey hai Rab ke

Manish Sisodia: Hmmm…Alka you should have been little more serious, this was your first serious project and you pulled a Somnath Bharti

Somnath Bharti: What do you mean, she pulled a Somnath Bharti…After the Khidki extension episode people started calling me Batman, and they are calling her “Nashedi” Lolzz

Alka Lamba : Enough guys, I am not liking it either…but sorry…I just went with the flow. Have you ever vandalized a sweets shop? It is a very saccharine experience.

Ashutosh: The Alka Lamba, you should have been little more conscious…look at the Arvind for example, he cut so many electric wires, did he get caught? The answer is no? He got his pictures published in the papers like a war veteran. But never got caught on cameras.

Ashish Khetan: Arvind Bhai ki baat hi alag hai, sir what do you think our strategy should be now?

Raghav Chaddha: I do not know about strategies but one thing is for sure, the only AAPian people can afford to see without make up is me. So please do not try that stunt again. It is scary.

Kumar Vishwas: मेरे संगी साथियों काहे अपने बाल नोचते हो, एक सीसीटीवी ने जड़ें हिला दी और तुम लाखों की सोचते हो

Sanjay Singh: Oye! Sisodiye what should we do bhai?

Manish Sisodia: Nothing…See we can’t get the intended political mileage out of it. What say Arvind?

Arvind Kejriwal: Damn right…But we can still play the victim card.

Ashutosh: How? Shall I tweet about it?

Arvind Kejriwal: Just call the police insensitive.

Somnath Bharti: How the hell is police insensitive? Even if someone actually hit Alka ji with a stone, what has the police got to do with it?

Arvind Kejriwal: Police is always involved and so is the LG

Sanjay Singh: Correct…So should we say that the stone throwers were LG’s men and they did it under the supervision of the Delhi Police?

Arvind Kejriwal: No, just say that Delhi under LG has become a breeding ground for stone hurlers all of whom are BJPWallahs, The Delhi police does nothing to stop them.

Manish Sisodia: This is illogical at so many levels

Kumar Vishwas: इल्लॉजिकल है तो चलेगा!! अपने फोलोवर्स भी बेमिसाल है, जो रैंट्स में जीते हैं उनके लिए लॉजिक मायाजाल है

Arvind Kejriwal: Vishwas bhai said it, but let me try and explain. Let us first say the footage was doctored, the Mithaiwaala was a BJP Guy whose goon attacked a hapless lady who was trying to rid the society of an evil in a single day

Manish Sisodia: Alright and…

Arvind Kejriwal: And…Attack OP Sharma for his comments against Alka Lamba and call him a misogynist. Basically feed him to the feminists!

Alka Lamba: Okay…I’ll play the Abla Naari then.

Ashish Khetan: Arvind Sirjee you simply rocckkksss!!!

Manish Sisodia: What about Delhi Police?

Ashutosh: I’ll take care of them, I’ll call the police chief a BJPWallah

Sanjay Singh: Dude Chaddha, are you taking notes? Times Now pe kya bologe?

Raghav Chaddha: Chill Singh Sahab, I’ll be at my beautiful best

Kumar Vishwas: अब ट्विटर, फेसबुक और टीवी पे मचेगा हंगामा, लॉजिक की अर्थी पर बैठ करेंगे आपी ड्रामा