Ni hao dear Kamal,
I hope my letter finds you and your nephew in good health, just wrote this letter to congratulate you on the United Nations’ listing of Masood Azhar ji as a global terrorist. This would not have been possible without Pundit Nehru’s efforts and our little push to lift the technical hold. My comrades in the propaganda machinery have been telling me that everyone in India is happy with how Modi ji has been trying to claim all the credit for the same however, this doesn’t hurt me. What hurts me the most are your claims that this was all done looking the Lok Sabha elections in India, you want to say that China gave its ‘little push’ considering LS polls to benefit Modi ji, even after our comrades in India have been supporting your supreme leader, I expected better Kamal… I expected better.
Let me give you my two yuans and clear my position. Since 1962 we have been firm supporters of Congress party rule in India. Nehru Ji let us take over Tibet and even gifted us a large part of Kashmir, your contribution in supporting our friends in the jungles of Jharkhand and Chhattisgarh is also noted, you also let us create friendly revolutionary organizations in North East India, do you still think we will betray Congress with such a move before the LS elections, I expected better Kamal… I expected better.
You have to understand our plight, my dear Kamal. Modi ji over the past few years has made strong friends in America and Europe and they have ganged up on us…We had to give in. If we didn’t give in, Modi ji threatened to act on our newly acquired vestigial organ which many call by the name ‘Pakistan’. Yes, I know, that if it’s vestigial, why should I care? I have to Kamal. We have built a road through it which will let us access the pristine beaches of the Arabian Sea, would you want us to lose access to those beautiful beaches?
Pakistan has been notorious nonetheless, even after multiple warnings and lessons. Blowing up people on the basis of any other book than the Communist manifesto is not acceptable, Pakistan didn’t understand…Even Modi ji took an extra class in Balakot. Can’t help if it doesn’t want to be helped.
Coming back to Modi, he is very cunning, after making friends with that ‘Duck’ in America, he even asked him to put pressure on me. On his visit to China, Modi ji had also tried to lure me with his magnificent personality ,and gifted me a pair of khaki half pants but I assure you, even if they look too good on me, I’ll never wear them even if my wife forces me to. It’s my promise to you.
We stopped the United Nations four times in the past but this time the pressure was too much and our wall was only so strong. We had to give in. Don’t believe the media’s claims that India and China have been increasing economic and strategic cooperation due to Modi ji and my friendship, it’s all bought up media making these claims, Modi ji even has influenced Chinese media to praise him, it’s all lies. We are always with you, I hope you understand Kamal, and please pass this message on to your supreme leader too.
PS: – I have also attached an illustrated depiction of the letter for your Supreme leader. I hope he enjoys it.
Jai Shri Ram