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…Uncle, are you a bhakt or something?

Savneet Singh by Savneet Singh
24 November 2016
in TFIUvaach
modi bhakt
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Cleanliness and order are not matters of instinct; they are matters of education, and like most great things, you must cultivate a taste for them.
– Benjamin Disraeli

A few days back, I had to visit Indore to attend a relative’s wedding. I along with my family traveled up to Indore by road. The thoroughfare between Bhopal to Indore is a State Highway, also referred as SH-18, which stretches around 200 kilometers.

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While we were tripping to Indore via car, we stopped at Highway Treat, which is a restaurant by MP Tourism situated in the Dodi town. It is a popular spot for stretching legs and quick bites, and is generally crowded by travelers at all hours.

After freshening up, I quickly made my way to the self-service counter, ordered and gulped my tea and leaped out to the parking lot of the restaurant. While I was walking in the direction of my car, a chartered Volvo stood before the restaurant on its way to Indore, began honking. Apparently, that was the signal to passengers to wind up the party and take the seats back. And that is what happened, a swarm of travelers started marching towards the bus.

Suddenly, a short man in his late 50s, elegantly dressed in formals, with a neatly done grey hair and trimmed beard, signaled someone to stop from boarding the bus. “Ruko beti, bus me mat chadhna” were his exact words, which were loud enough to steal the attention of everyone nearby.

The girl beckoned to stop seemed to be young, probably in her late teens. She had an innocent face and was dressed in a casual western attire (blue jeans and a black t-shirt, if you feel inquisitive enough to know). Her expressions portrayed that she definitely was shocked by the notice, her walk transformed from leaps to careful steps. “What’s wrong uncle?” the girl asked hesitatingly. She seemed puzzled, so were we. Lots of other curious faces started peeping out of the bus.

“Beta, you seem literate and wise. I saw you were having tea in there, did you receive the bill?” asked the man in a polite tone.

The girl instantly froze at some distance. “That was coffee actually, but yes I received the bill and paid in cash. Was there something wrong with the coffee, uncle?” Replied the girl, a sense of carefulness was audible in her voice.

“…and did you study the bill, the ‘taxes’ that you paid?” the man emphasized on the word ‘taxes’.

“Err… no uncle, but I paid 15 rupees including the taxes. As usual, there would be 14% of service tax and some cess’s. But what are you trying to convey?” She seemed perplexed now.

A crowd was now starting to gather around them. Some even stepped out of the bus in search of solace to their otherwise snooping souls.

“Exactly! Apart from service tax, we also pay Krishi Kalyan and ‘Swachh Bharat’ cess”, this time he emphasized on Swachh Bharat and continued, “we are entitled to ‘pay’ to keep our surroundings clean.”

“So?” the girl again looked puzzled.

“So if we already keep our surroundings clean, maybe, we won’t have to pay this cess anymore. Or otherwise, maybe, we would face a rise in this tax in the future.”

“Okay, I agree to what you just quoted, but I am sorry, I still can’t relate.” Replied the girl nodding her head first vertically, then horizontally.

“Okay beta, in straight words, would you please trouble yourself to collect that mess you just threw on the road and direct it into the dustbin, which happens to be placed just two steps away?” he requested in a polite tone pointing at the white disposable cup which was stained with beverage and lay on the middle of otherwise clean road.

All of the sudden, the expressions on girls face grew from innocent to sharp, and she replied with a piercing tone, “What’s the matter with you? I was in a hurry to get on the bus. This (she pointed towards the disposable cup) happened like, instinctively, and you made this big ‘tamasha’ out of this little issue.

By your logic, sir, I have just paid ‘Swachh Bharat cess’, and if I am not wrong this is a state-owned eatery. So isn’t it government’s duty to clean this mess. I mean, why are they charging us then? ” She paused for a moment and then continued in an immodest tone, “…and with all due respect, sir, if this concerns you so much, why didn’t you pick it up and place it wisely in the dustbin? Why did you cause inconvenience to all the passengers by making them wait?”

I must say, the girl here appeared to me to be the staunch follower of the liberals opposing the demonetization drive. Her ‘inconvenience’ argument sounded exactly like the reasons the Delhi CM and bunch of other politicos and their clowns opposing it are trying to shove. Some people nodded in affirmation to support the girl, while the majority didn’t seem to be convinced by her speech.

The old man stepped in again and began politely “I apologize for the inconveniences caused. Sure, the government charges us Swachh Bharat cess to keep the country clean, but tell me honestly, do you really think that just because you pay 0.5% cess on your bills, you have got the right to litter around. What if this whole cess thing is done to make us realize the worth of cleanliness, because it’s a common mentality, nothing is appreciated till it is free!”

“Sure, I would have done that myself but I wanted you to realize this. I would request a few more minutes.” Without waiting for the approval, he continued, “beta, I have a granddaughter, she would be a little younger than you. She lives in Singapore and hates visiting India. She says we are a filthy land. And no beta, I am not blaming you but my own generation. My generation was mean, we were all busy in making more and more money and grabbing more and more comfort, we were not at all concerned about the environment, about the next generations. We failed. We made your generation suffer. We made a mistake and I am requesting you – please-don’t-repeat-the-same.”

“…uncle, are you a bhakt or something?” the girl replied with an annoyed but sarcastic expression. Maybe, this was the trump card in the bunch of arguments she had.

‘Bhakt’, the word translates to being a ‘devotee’. Sometimes I amaze at the genius of PR people, how brilliantly they have managed to transform a simple word that was used in religious contexts into a slang. And ever since Narendra Modi has been chaired as the Prime Minister, the word has been trendily in use to offend the people praising Modi government’s policies and initiatives. And if you dare to praise Modi himself, be prepared to be labeled by the word, which can be followed by some very innovative suffixes.

But this old man answered the girl in a simple yet befitting way. “If keeping my surroundings clean makes me a ‘bhakt’, I won’t mind being addressed as one.” He replied calmly.

The stubborn girl finally gave up. She gasped and turned around, and swiftly moved up to the mess she made, picked and tossed it in the dustbin nearby.

She marched back with a blank face and boarded the bus quietly.
The onlookers started applauding and congratulating the old man, however, he maintained the serious expressions on his face. All of a sudden, a a cutely plump lady in her early fifties came from behind us. She tapped old man’s elbow and said, “Khan Sahib, Ho gayi samaaj seva? shall we leave now?”

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