Vishal Dadlani’s explosive interview with TFI

Music Composer and Aam Aadmi Party devotee Vishal Dadlani vowed to distance himself from ‘active’ politics after his tweet on a Jain monk triggered a conflagration of protests.

Jain Monk Tarun Sagar had addressed the Haryana assembly, it was too much to take for Dadlani, hence he mocked the monk for appearing sans any clothing.

That’s what he tweeted:

Enraged Jain folks and RW users on Social Media started trolling Dadlani left right and centre. Surprisingly AAP Supremo Arvind Kejriwal joined the Dadlani bandwagon too and gave him a piece of his mind.

It was too much to take for Poor Dadlani and hence he formally announced retirement from ‘active’ politics. We managed to get an interview with him to find out the real reasons behind his “Retirement”

TFI Correspondent: Hello Vishal, What’s up?

Vishal Dadlani: Hey buddy…I am great, thanks for coming and thanks for the interview

TFI Correspondent: My pleasure, would you like to talk about your active politics phase, now that you have decided to quit?

Vishal Dadlani: Yes it was a nice journey; it taught me a lot about how to conduct oneself in public forum, at public events, on social media etcetera. See, I was never a political person, a vocal critic of Indian Politics. But then I was a vocal critic of Indian Music too, look how they changed me. I am now composing music for songs like “Babbby ko Bass pasand hai” and “Unchi Waali Heel Pahan ke Dance Basanti”

TFI Correspondent: But those are catchy numbers Vishal, very popular tracks.

Vishal Dadlani: Exactly mate, you are an intelligent person. I was a sucker for popularity. In 2012 I saw the advent of a political party which had no substance, only populism. It was love at first sight.

TFI Correspondent: I agree with that, so how did it go from there?

Vishal Dadlani: Kejriwal ji met me in Mumbai and told me on my face that I am a fool, and that fools are in vogue these days. I got to know that he was planning the biggest con-job of the decade. And it was bound to bring a lot of fame to all the participants. I clicked the Agree button without reading the Terms and Conditions.

TFI Correspondent: So what after that?

Vishal Dadlani: I was given the Troll Portfolio. You know trolling right wingers on Twitter, retweeting anything Anti-Modi, making absurd claims, analysing bills, budgets etc.

TFI Correspondent: Seriously you analysed bills and budgets too?

Vishal Dadlani: Yup! In fact I rose to prominence when I busted the Prime Minister’s GDP myths on twitter. I successfully stripped all formulas to their naked component levels. I calculated log of the GDP number, and then the antilog of it. I divided it by pi and then fitted it into Pythagoras theorem on RHS and Coulomb’s law on LHS and successfully deduced that LHS is not equal to RHS. It was proved that the PM was bloating the figures to paint a progressive picture.

TFI Correspondent: You clearly failed all Mathematics papers in your school days

Vishal Dadlani: I did, but does that matter? This is the troll era mate. Why do you think Kejriwal became the CM of Delhi?

TFI Correspondent: I agree on that. So tell me more about Active Politics

Vishal Dadlani: I sucked at trolling because the Right Wingers owned me every time. Kapil was better, in fact he and I started at the same time but since he was better, he got promoted

TFI Correspondent: Oh! So what did you do then?

Vishal Dadlani: I used my musical awesomeness to carve a niche for myself, I started doing fundraisers.

TFI Correspondent: Yeah! I went to one of your concerts during Delhi Elections, It was pretty stupid.

Vishal Dadlani: All of them are…but who cares? Delhiwallahs love Raghu Ram, his slangs are music to Delhiwallahs’ ears. So we followed a simple strategy, we let Raghu Ram do the talking, and then I played some music and then Kejriwal told them why Aam Aadmi Party is the best. It worked. The audience walked out like zombies programmed to vote for AAP and forget about it.

TFI Correspondent: And how else you contributed to Politics apart from lowering down its standard?

Vishal Dadlani: I anchored the staged event, Talk to AK. I shortlisted all callers myself and compered it like a pro. Baldie Raghu stood no chance in front of me this time because this was supposed to be broadcasted live.

TFI Correspondent: So did it work?

Vishal Dadlani: See everyone got to know about the truth of it but AK praised me for my selfless services. But in the end it doesn’t even matter.

TFI Correspondent: Don’t you think you should have stuck around for some more time? Nation and most importantly AAP needs you in active politics.

Vishal Dadlani: Naah! I am done. I got no promotions. I am a failed troll. No producer in Mumbai is scared of AK so he can’t get me new projects either. We were told to troll anything anti-BJP. We were told to troll any religion apart from one extremely tolerant and peace-loving one. That’s exactly what I did and what did I get? Public lambasting. Not cool.

TFI Correspondent: Thanks for this candid interview Vishal.

Disclaimer: This is a Satire and has got nothing to do with reality