Embark on a delightful journey through the witty world of Confucius. Unveil the humorous side of ancient wisdom as we delve into Funny Confucius Quotes and Words yet insightful sayings. These are just jokes.
50 Funny Confucius Quotes and Words
- Confucius said, “A man who eats a lot of noodles will have a long nose, but not necessarily great wisdom.”
- “Woman who thinks she can do anything will surely have a busy day, and messy hair.”
- “A man who tries to catch the wind with his hands will end up with a headache, but not with the wind.”
- “A woman who is still waiting for Prince Charming risks ending up with a collection of frogs.” – funny Confucius quotes
- “Man talking to his cat may understand the meow, but the cat still won’t understand the man.”
- “Woman who buys shoes on sale will walk gracefully to her empty bank account.”
- “A man who wants to read other people’s minds should first learn not to lose his own keys.”
- “Woman who laughs when she runs may have cramps, but at least she will make others laugh.”
- “The man who thinks chocolate solves all problems has clearly never tried to fix a flat tire with a chocolate bar.”
- “Woman singing in the rain will probably end up with a cold, but at least she’ll be the most enthusiastic singer in the hospital.”
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Confucius’ Words
- “Man who gets up on the wrong foot will probably land on the cat and then slip on a banana peel.”
- “Woman who counts her chickens before they hatch will eventually learn a hard lesson in biology.”
- “Man who wants to climb the mountain must first make sure he has his hiking boots on, otherwise he will slip like a slug.”
- “Woman who believes laughter is the best medicine has clearly never tried to heal a broken bone with a joke.”
- “A man who constantly speaks in philosophical quotations will have a hard time finding someone to quote him.”
- “A woman who thinks she knows everything will find that Google knows a little more.” – funny Confucius quotes
- “Man who searches the fridge for the meaning of life will only find last night’s leftovers.”
- “Woman who always takes the shortest route will probably find out it was under construction.”
- “A man who loses himself in thought risks finding a hidden treasure of orphan socks.”
- “Woman who dances like no one is watching her should probably close the curtains next time.”
Confucius’ Words
- “Man who thinks silence is golden has never heard of pizza delivery.”
- “Woman who claims shopping isn’t a sport has clearly never tried to carry ten bags at once.”
- “The man who eats his dessert before the main course knows how to mess up the universe.”
- “Woman who believes karma will never catch up with her probably hasn’t met her ex at a party yet.”
- “Man who wants to become a millionaire by relying on his coins will need an eternity…or two.” – funny Confucius quotes
- “Woman who thinks sleep is a waste of time has clearly never tried a morning meeting without coffee.”
- “Man who claims to have the answer to everything has clearly never been faced with the question ‘Where’s the remote?'”
- “Woman who always waits for the perfect moment to act will probably end up waiting for eternity.”
- “Man who believes laughter is the best medicine has never had a giggle during a serious meeting.”
- “Woman who says time heals everything has clearly never tried to fix a computer bug.”
Funny Confucius Quotes and Words
- “Man who thinks patience is a virtue probably never waited for his toast to come out of the toaster.”
- “Woman constantly looking for her phone, maybe she should ring it to find it…oh wait.”
- “Man who claims coffee has no effect on him is either an alien or mentally Monday already.”
- “Woman who believes every problem has a solution has probably never tried dividing by zero.”
- “Man who thinks success comes to those who work hard has clearly never seen a cat sleeping all day.”
- “Woman singing in the shower has great acoustics…until the door opens.” – funny Confucius quotes
- “Man wondering where the money is going should check his Amazon cart.”
- “Woman who says shopping doesn’t count as exercise has clearly never walked in a mall on sale day.”
- “Man who claims never to cry in front of a movie has probably never seen a lost puppy on screen.”
- “Woman who thinks she can handle anything will probably forget where she put her keys.”
Funny Confucius Quotes and Words
- “Man who believes technology solves everything has clearly never tried to understand a toaster’s instruction manual.”
- “Woman expecting Prince Charming might end up with a pumpkin for transportation.”
- “Man who says laughter is contagious probably never tried to make his computer laugh.”
- “Woman who thinks the housework is self-cleaning has clearly never encountered a dishwasher on strike.”
- “The man who believes the truth comes out of children’s mouths has probably never listened to a child explain where babies come from.”
- “Woman who always looks for the positive side of life probably needs to use a compass to find her way.”
- “Man who claims clutter is an art form should probably open his own museum.” – funny Confucius quotes
- “Woman who says chocolate is her true love has clearly never tried a candlelit dinner with a bar of chocolate.”
- “Man who thinks he can fix anything with tools has probably never tried to mend a broken heart with a wrench.”
- “A woman who waits for the perfect moment to act will probably end up waiting for the unicorns to invade her garden.”
Also Read: Reflections on 50 Wasting Time Quotes and Captions
