Pathaan box office collection: [Disclaimer: The views are rooted in reality and has some connections with each and every character. Instead of taking it to heart, readers should install this in their brains, especially the Boycott club, it will be beneficial for the mission ahead. Issued in public interest!]
Box office collection: Breaking News! Pathaan demolishes the fortress of KGF 2 to smithereens!
Don’t miss this: Pathaan had reduced Mahishmati to rubble, Dangal next!
Jhoome Jo Pathaan gets a wild card entry, Deepika Padukone to get a Special Award from UN for poverty allievation
Jhoome Jo Pathaan and Besharam Rang to be performed live at the Grammy Awards, makers give special invitation to one and all! King is Back in Style!
Yes, such snippets and news bytes have torn our eardrums and have shaken us from slumber. Bollywood is back, and how! Pathaan is now officially the ninth wonder of the world, for the eighth is busy with his eponymous ‘Bharat Jodo Yatra.’ The pneumatic tyre orifice patchers have declared Shahrukh as their messiah!
Going by this box office collection rate, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Pathaan makers soon decide to take over the entire business of Adani and even buy the entire Mars, with a little kiosk for Elon Musk and his Tesla. Social service you know!
How is this possible? You’re so naïve if you’re really asking this! Siddharth Anand is no more an Indian filmmaker. He is Stanley Kubrick reincarnated, with dollops of Steven Spielberg and James Cameron and a pinch of Michael Bay as well. With more than 100 crores in a day, and almost 225 crores in 2 days, Shahrukh Khan is now the undisputed Best Actor of the Entire universe, by order of the Peaky Blinders [Jupiter Cell]!
Just kidding, the 200 crores plus figures are only to infuriate the Boycott Club and their members. Pathaan is now ready to liberate the entirety of Europe from the clutches of debt. As a gentleman, you need to lose sometimes to win the bigger game and the ultimate winner is the Baazigar! Are we right or are we right Dr. Rubina, correction correction, Mrs. Deepika Padukone? Speaking of Deepika, has Ranveer Sir got an entry in the spy universe or not? Don’t worry, Rohit Shetty will release him soon.
They thought they would ruin King Khan and his kingdom for good. But forget demolishing him, the Pan India association has called for an emergency ministry meeting, as to how to tackle this rising storm of PATHAAN! Rocky Bhai is crying at the drop of the hat and our Shiva Bhai [not the Brahmastra one, the Kantara one] is in for some serious penance. As of now, Selmon Bhoi is unavailable. As per some sources, he has been contacted for a special appearance in Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible. After All, Bhai rocks!
Now think for yourself, how can someone with blessings from Queen RJ Sayema and King Abhisar Sharma not strike mayhem at the box office? Who said it’s just on paper, it’s as real as sunrise in the west, certified by the Fact Checker of the Universe, Shri Shri Mohammad Zubair himself!
If only Ravish uncle had mentioned about this movie from his holy chords, the entire Purvanchal would have stormed the theatres, making Pathaan a CERTIFIED ALL GALAXY BLOCKBUSTER! Fun fact, Komal uncle and Taran Mama are changing their names too, for Pathaan has transformed their lives for once and for all.
Also Read: Mahendra Kapoor: The fantastic singer who got his due only with the Mahabharat theme song
This is only the beginning, dear friends. According to top secret files declassified by former journalist turned spy GSK, codenamed Nana, “Pathaan is in contacts with WHO and Interpol. No worries if a bio attack is on the cards, Pathaan is there for the world, with ISI in regular touch with all the authorities!” It is another matter that the eponymous warrior, Brigadier Suryadev Singh has sued Pathaan and his agency for blatantly plagiarising his world-famous espionage tactics. You don’t mess with the Brigadier, do you?
As per the same sources, our neighbouring nation is back to normal again. For those horrified by Mission Majnu and the impending calamity of ‘Gadar 2’, Pathaan is nothing less than a soothing antidote. According to Pakistani media, national holidays will be declared soon from Lahore to Karachi, so that everyone gets to watch Pathaan!
Meanwhile the makers of Burnol are in a dilemma as to accept the undisclosed investments in Burnol or not. However, keeping all that aside, if the makers of Pathaan are reading this, a heartful request – Please plan your next mission on Jupiter, the denizens need you, and should you run out of money, you have the biggest asset – Pakistan’s atom bomb!
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