The silence of honorable people is more deadly & deafening than the cacophony of bigoted tyrants.
Yet another crime against women, yet another failure of the civil society, government, law machinery, yet another shameful headline splashed across the media. 4 years after Nirbhaya, countless faceless Nirbhayas across the country continue to simply be a statistic to be quoted & debated upon. The more things change in India, the more they sadly remain the same. One day after the appalling incidents of molestation & mob frenzy in Bengaluru, it was business as usual of course. There was the usual media blitzkrieg, the ubiquitous articles, the circus of prime time TV debates, the usual horrific comments by sleazy politicians who display their lack of moral fiber with impunity, the blame games, the slut shaming, the warnings about women crossing the Lakshman Rekha of “VIRTUE”, the lip service from the incumbent government. And so the long day wears on. What is more tragic than the callous, indifferent, masochistic sound bytes from the usual suspects; is the predictability of it all & the resigned acceptance by the ordinary women of this country of this sheer apathy & insensitive attitude to a demography which constitutes nearly half of the population.
So in 21st century the length of a woman’s skirt dictates her character. Nirbhaya was not in designer cocktail wear so why was she attacked. Some nay sayers drawled, how dare these women party in the night instead of being ensconced within the confines of their home. Well, being at home still did not guarantee safety for the 30 yr law student in Kerala who was brutally attacked in her own house. Of course these women were asking for it by dressing provocatively & trying to attract the attention of men, They deserved it bragged a few morons. Did the 11 month child who was raped in Delhi try to provoke & attract the animals who attacked her. No woman gropes a man’s private parts in public transport. A man wearing swimming trunks in a beach is not subjected to lewd remarks by gawking women. No jilted woman disfigures her lover’s face with acid. No man is tortured for producing daughters rather than sons. No drunk, unconscious man is raped by a woman passerby or a cab driver or even a colleague. So why are only women subjected to these atrocities? Why circumstances, behavior & outcome change when the shoe is on the other foot? So many burning questions & innumerable rants but no answers.
What causes your average, insignificant Johnny to transform into Hulk in the midst of a mob. What gives these men the courage (for the lack of a better word because their actions are nothing but cowardly) to brazenly harass, attack & violate women without a shred of fear of shame. Reasons are multifold….
First this hopelessly patriarchal society which attempts to control every facet of woman from her clothes to her social life to her right to work or choose a life of her liking. A society which simply shrugs off every transgression by men as BOYS WILL BE BOYS. A society which gives latitude to a man to wear, behave, live as he pleases but refuses to give the same freedom to its women. Change should come from within. At the risk of sounding clichéd till every mother teaches her SON TO BEHAVE rather than teaching her DAUGHTER WHAT TO WEAR there will be countless Nirbhayas in the making. Men should learn to accept the simple fact that a woman who wears modern dresses or drinks or parties is not a slut. And a NO means N, O NO.
Next is an efficient, impartial legal system which protects the victims rather than the well placed criminals, a law machinery which safeguards the rights of its citizens. Unless the fear of timely, appropriate punishment is instilled in the psyche of the criminal, heinous crimes of this nature will continue unabated.
Finally to all women out there. Don’t wait for Kalyug Krishnas & Ramas to come to your rescue. Always give priority to your safety. Be aware of your surroundings. Have emergency numbers on your speed dial. It is neither feasible nor advisable to try to fight a mob baying for your blood. Learn simple defense & survival moves that will help you break free & leave the place immediately. It’s a long, bleak journey ahead but hopefully a time comes when women are treated as equals with respect & warmth in this land where ironically Durga is worshipped but women continue to be treated as lesser humans.