‘Identity cannot be found and fabricated. It has to be found within’. ‘’Quote-Unquote’’.
The past few days has sent me into a tizzy. It has just dawned on me that, I might be a nobody, if and when I decide to return to my motherland. Reason? My qualifications!! But why Qualifications???
My lovely and seemingly coy wife (a good 20yrs before) after seeing me one day taking on the usual burly and rough Hyderabadi Auto driver on his home turf during one of my visits to see her before marriage (since she was from Hyderabad and me from Pune), expressed her desire to see me as a Factionist MLA at some stage. When I questioned her why factionist MLA? The crypt answer I got is that all factionists were handsome (which automatically qualifies me as per her logic), and all their wives wielded a lot of power. I concluded that, she was under the obvious heavy influence of Telugu Factionist movies which were a vogue in the nineties and early part of the 21st century.
But providence had other plans of me, and I ended up leaving my motherland almost immediately after marriage with wife in tow. Since then, we might not have celebrated a single Diwali at the homeland, but, my wife has not given up her dream of seeing herself as a Factionist MLA’s wife one day. But it seems now her dream will remain a dream for ever, and so also would my married life be relegated to the dreams if it were so. Why?
Why, because a certain Mr.Kejriwal has a problem with names and dates in qualifications and degrees. But, how is that related to me becoming an MLA if and when I decide to do so?
Well to become an MLA I have to file my nominations 1st, provided of course any Political Party decides to field me. Assuming they will, while filing my nominations I have to state my qualifications as I am qualified. Like our honest PM did. Can I think myself to file my nominations as an illiterate as my Bihar and UP cousins? I can’t! So far so good. What then is the problem? Well the problem lies in how my Marathi brothers & sisters in Pune treated my lovely South Indian name and Family name while entering it into my educational records.
For the record, my name is ‘Suryanarayana’. My Father’s name is ‘Mallikarjuna Rao’. And, my family name is ‘Tirumallasetti’.
My name as it appears in my 10th standard hand written Mark List & Certificate in 1984 is ‘Tirumallasetti Suryanarayana Mawka’.
My name as it appears in my Diploma hand written Mark list but Electronic Type Writer typed Certificate issued in 1989 is ‘Tirrumallashetty Suryanarayana Mallika’. Those days Electronic Type writers were in vogue.
My name as it appears in my hand written Engineering Degree Mark list as well as Hand written Convocation in 1993 is ‘Tirrumallashetty Suryanarayana Rao’. They seemed to have borrowed the ‘Rao’ from my Father’s name and given it me as a gift.
Everything seemed fine. The world was still innocent. Mr.Kejriwal might himself be going through his IIT last semester when I passed out. Until disaster struck in around 1995. I lost all my certificates in one shot at a busy Mumbai Metro Station. Regular trips to the Pune SSC Board for my 10th certificates, my Diploma College for my Diploma certificate and finally to the Pune University finally yielded my Duplicate Mark lists and certificates. All of them issued sometime in 1996.
Now, I have my certificates say the following:
- 10th completed in 1984, and certificate issued in 1996
- Diploma completed in 1989, and certificate issued in 1996
- Engineering completed in 1993 and certificate issued in 1996
The above data as per the Kejriwal rendering and reducing me completely to a cheat, vagrant and a 420. That’s what they are claiming about our beloved PM, isn’t it?
If our PM isn’t being left alone, who am I then? I should consider myself one lucky man, since, my wife, who incidentally knows about my certificates pain since the Duplicates were issued the year we got married is not following the news much since the past week or so due to the exams of our litter.
I seem to be on the threshold of a nervous breakdown, with the impending doom I might have to face if she knows the muck Mr.Kejriwal has raised with his extremely honest intentions. By which, she might realize that her dreams of becoming a Factionist MLA wife would remain a dream due to the cheating I am ‘supposed’ to have done with my Degrees. Which could also send a doubt in her brain enclosed in her lovely head that, I must have also falsely claimed I am an Engineer while seeking her hand respectfully.
I stand to lose a lot if she decides to go the legal route. Since ‘hell hath no fury then a woman scorned’. She might decide herself to send me to the cleaners. Even my trying to convince her that, I shall try to file my nominations as an illiterate might not be effective if she chooses to go ballistic. Why am I in this mess in the 1st place? All because our beloved PM is an extremely honest man trying to give Ram Rajya to this nation. And that is not to the liking of an extremely dishonest Mr.Kejriwal.
Why Mr.Modi? Why are you so honest? Why are you so committed? Why do lose your sleep for the nation? Why do you don’t sleep and make others too loose their sleep to give their best for the nation? This nation which has questioned you on your Degrees doesn’t deserve you honestly. Do you think Mr.PM, I or millions like me care a damn about your degrees? We don’t! We just plainly love you, love your work, love your commitment, love your honesty, love your integrity, and above all, we love your love towards our Motherland.
It has not missed the attention of the careful that, This new circus initiated by this clown called Kejriwal is in the midst of a raging corruption expose involving the 1st Family of a leading Opposition Political Party. And, perhaps one of the most serious allegations ever leveled on any Politician or Political Family in Independent India. This, being clearly seen as an attempt to deflect the heat from that Political Family.
I understood the class of this clown CM, when I read the 1st letters of his so called ‘sensational tweet’ as ‘Sources say..’. It sounded as a ‘Desperate Housewife’ wanting to desperately blurt out that, she personally saw the neighbor’s wife cheating. But the fact being that, this was just a rumbling from a gossiping common maid working in both the houses.
His ‘Sources say.. .’ or ‘My sources say..’ tweets are by now legendary. I have never seen men, or real men talk that way. He shames even a gossiping housewife or worse, even a gossiping maid. To say that, he is cheap would be an understatement. Rahul Gandhi would beat him any day in a personality contest. Rahul Gandhi’s mistake being that he is an unwilling scion of a fading Corrupt Political Family, and surrounded by equally bad advisors and even more bad speech writers.
But, Arvind Kejriwal resembles the rotten smelly carcass of a street dog floating and blocking a well flowing gutter.
We sincerely apologize to you Mr.PM! Please accept our humble and sincere apologies!!!