“All rise!” screeched the bailiff Kejriwal as Judge Kejriwal walked in in his customary aura of faultless uprightness. The accused Asim Ahmed Khan shuddered in fear.
“Settle down” said Judge Kejriwal.
The accused dabbed the dews of sweat that now decorated his forehead.
Is the prosecutor Kejriwal here? Queried Judge Kejriwal in his mechanical voice.
Yes milord, said Bailiff Kejriwal.
The flamboyant prosecutor Kejriwal stood up from his desk and passed a courteous salute to Judge Kejriwal. Judge Kejriwal passed a sly grin.
“You may begin the prosecution” Commanded Judge Kejriwal.
“Thanks Milord” replied Prosecutor Kejriwal. The accused Asim Ahmed Khan shuddered more. The paparazzi clicked pictures of the shuddering accused, the angry lawyer and the pensive judge hysterically.
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” Asked the Lawyer. Cameras flashed. Media persons murmured.
“Yes…ye…” Asim Ahmed Khan stuttered.
“Shut up…you are not allowed to speak” yelled the prosecutor. More camera flashes. More murmurs. Someone in the audience tweets.
“Are you aware of the penalties for corruption?” yelled prosecutor Arvind Kejriwal.
The accused clears his throat to speak.
“Bailiff Kejriwal, restrain that man.” Shouted Judge Kejriwal. Camera Flashes literally lit the otherwise dimly lit courtroom. First breaking news hits the Media. Thousands of tweets engulf Twitter. #KejriwalWalksTheTalk starts trending. The accused bursts out crying. Bailiff Kejriwal smiles. Prosecutor Kejriwal smiles. Judge Kejriwal smiles.
Okay so this is all made up. Kejriwal ji is not a judge, or a DA or a bailiff for that matter but he is AAP Supremo and is above the constitution of his party and he has a terrific screen presence. Had he been a Hollywood actor, the casting director would have said “This guy is a FRIGGING NATURAL”. Shri Arvind Kejriwal is probably the first person in the Milky Way to fire a cabinet minister on Live TV. No he is second I believe. First was Shivaji Rao from Nayak. Wait but did Shivaji Rao fire a cabinet Minister? No he just fired some public servants on TV. So that makes Kejriwal ji the only person to fire a cabinet minister on TV. And also the first person to beat a Movie Character in uprightness and badassery! “Jhakkas” as the alter ego of Shivaji Rao would have exclaimed.
Jokes apart, but there can be nothing apart from jokes in this entire episode. This is not Nautanki anymore, this is a Drama of the highest possible quality that would make Shakespeare jump out of his grave and join Kejriwal Drama Classes. How could he? How could Kejriwal be so awesome? He fired Asim Ahmed Khan in front of TV Cameras to prove a point that he is completely against Corruption? He could have done that quietly in his chamber but then he wouldn’t have gotten the much needed brownie points in that case and his friendly friends in the media wouldn’t have gotten the much needed TRP. After the Dadri Message backfired, this was the need of the hour. An Asim Ahmed Khan needed to be sacrificed at the altar of morality to send a strong message across “Hamari Ladai Corruption se hai jee, aur hum iske liye apno ko bhi nahi bakshenge ji”.
The fan in me is ecstatic again after the Asim Ahmed Khan case. I almost started hating him after listening to his Dadri Message. But he is back to doing what he does the best – Making a tax ridden frustrated nation laugh. Kejriwal sir, you are the laughing stock of the nation, but I love you (like I hate you).